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Originally Posted by Michele McPhalen:

Originally Posted by Donna Brown:
I tried Match.com 3 or 4 years ago and did not last long because I just did not like it. The few men I chatted with were overly-aggressive and insisted (yes, insisted!) on getting info. from me that I USUALLY do not share very early on. I know some people like it (as well as other dating sites) but they just aren't for me.

Good luck though.

Yes, that has been my experience too; men that were to aggressive. I had one man even tell me to "pony up" or "**** or get off the pot". I deleted my profile soon after that rude comment.  One man even assumed that if he bought me dinner and a drink and because he had to drive from another town that I was going to let him spend the night at my place on the first date! Needless to say, I have been completely turned off by the whole experience and don't know if I even want to start dating again. I may just have to "happen upon" that special someone because I don't see it happening for me any other way.  

Wow, that's insane!  That's why I hesitate too because I have a couple of girlfriends already on Match.com & they're telling me the same thing about how these guys expect "something" on the first date.

I thought by paying for the site you'd get a better class of people but I guess that theory went out the window!

Guess I'll take my chances and hope to happen upon someone special too.

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Originally Posted by Sylvia Torres:
I thought by paying for the site you'd get a better class of people but I guess that theory went out the window!

I thought the same thing. But it seems that all "Paid Membership" means is that people with more money to throw at their gamesmanship are the ones participating.

But there's always one thing I keep coming back to; if you take your time to get to know someone who's truly interested, then I feel it improves the chances of it leading to a finer outcome. In reference to the "**** of get off the pot" thing, I can't help wondering how soon people tend to say things like this. After just 2, 3, or 4 conversations? Frankly, I think people expect to meet in person far too soon, even if their interests are sincere and genuine.

I remember someone asking me how long I'd wait - minimum. They got rather hostile with me when I said "Probably at least 6 months." But since it's painfully obvious that most people seeking attention or a partner in online social forums aren't being quite sincere, it seems foolish, to me anyways, to offer meeting after only a few conversations. Granted, some good relationships do come from speedy hookups. But most of these end or end badly and online predation and malicious gamesmanship is a harsh reality. And generally speaking, insincere or disingenuous people aren't very patient, so 'taking time' tends to unmask many of them.

I think there's one important question to ask ourselves before spending time in these paid-membership arenas; are we really just looking for a sex partner whom we're dying to have sex with quickly, or are we seeking a life-long partner that might include sex? I feel that if we're seeking a life-long partner, then waiting 6 months before meeting (provided there's quality communication during this time) isn't unreasonably long to wait. And for me personally, even if a potential partner is being sincere with me, if they're unwilling to wait, then I'd simply figure us to be incompatible and I'd move on. Not saying they're 'bad', just incompatible.

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Oh! I can see how my statement above was misunderstood and I apologize. I wasn't talking about sex and I did say "men I chatted with . . ." I was referring to the fact that they wanted lots of personal information like exactly where I lived, how long I'd been divorced, what kind of job I had, how many kids, etc. I didn't (and still don't) think personal stats need to be shared with someone I'm only chatting with on line and have no plans to meet up with any time soon.

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Originally Posted by Sylvia Torres:

Originally Posted by Michele McPhalen:

Originally Posted by Donna Brown:
I tried Match.com 3 or 4 years ago and did not last long because I just did not like it. The few men I chatted with were overly-aggressive and insisted (yes, insisted!) on getting info. from me that I USUALLY do not share very early on. I know some people like it (as well as other dating sites) but they just aren't for me.
Good luck though.

Yes, that has been my experience too; men that were to aggressive. I had one man even tell me to "pony up" or "**** or get off the pot". I deleted my profile soon after that rude comment.  One man even assumed that if he bought me dinner and a drink and because he had to drive from another town that I was going to let him spend the night at my place on the first date! Needless to say, I have been completely turned off by the whole experience and don't know if I even want to start dating again. I may just have to "happen upon" that special someone because I don't see it happening for me any other way.  

Wow, that's insane!  That's why I hesitate too because I have a couple of girlfriends already on Match.com & they're telling me the same thing about how these guys expect "something" on the first date.

I thought by paying for the site you'd get a better class of people but I guess that theory went out the window!

Guess I'll take my chances and hope to happen upon someone special too.

So sorry for your horrible experiences Sylvia and Michele !  I agree Donna, no need to share all information until (or if) YOU feel comfortable doing so.

Well I started a profile on Match (have already asked for my money back ... lol) and a free site ... truth be told I've gotten more interest from the free site.  What I am finding is something I already knew and that is there are VERY few single men in my area ... and seems the ones who are, are for a reason.  That guys who live farther away are most interested in me.  I got a lot of hey I travel to Kansas City on business all the time and would love to have someone to spend time with.  To me, that reads "booty call" ... or just want someone to curb their boredom while on the road and will never turn into anything more.  NOW, if that is what I was looking for ... I'd say cool ... meet some new people in a public place ... nice dinner, conversation and then go home BUT it's not soooo ...

I made a date with one guy from the free site ... he had to reschedule and as it turned out that was for the best because I got a surprise visit from a friend that very same day.  We're going to reschedule for some time this week.  If it happens great, if it doesn't great too ... I'm not going to get too bummed about it.  

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I tried quite a few date sites over the years before I met Bryan. I tried a few paid sites, and a few free ones as well. And to tell the truth, I honestly didn't see any difference on the type of guys on either type of sites. For the most part the same guys were on all the sites, lol. But, I had pretty good luck I think on all of them. I met quite a few guys over the years, and actually made good friends with several that I didn't click with that I still talk to today. I had a couple long relationships through there as well. Plentyoffish.com actually has get togethers in different areas for their members. Which is a nice way to get out & meet people in a group & see how they are before considering dating them.

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The best advice I think is to take your time getting to know someone, & never let anyone rush you into anything you're not ready for. I found taking my time before meeting woud tend to weed out the weirdos of the bunch, lol.

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Originally Posted by Rebecca Chastain:
The best advice I think is to take your time getting to know someone, & never let anyone rush you into anything you're not ready for. I found taking my time before meeting woud tend to weed out the weirdos of the bunch, lol.

Fantastic advice Becky !

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that advice knocks all of us of the list  

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I met my guy on match.com  I got on there after being separated for just about 5 months because I realized I'm online all the time, so where else was I going to meet someone?

He and I clicked immediately and had/have just about everything in common, fortunately.  We've been together for 5 months now and I know our experience isn't typical, because I've had some other friends go on and they've told me their experiences.  I also chatted with a few other guys on there and realized very quickly it wasn't for me. He also told me he did date a few women from the site and typically it was a one date event never turning into anything else.  I even cringe now when I see their ad's and when he and I are asked how we met we bypass the whole **match** comment and talk about where we met the first time.  Teri, you're a smart woman, you know it's online and with anything else...it's the internet.  Most aren't going to represent themselves accurately.

Once again, I feel blessed that someone was watching over me and sent the right person my way (fairly quickly) after what I went through with my separation and upcoming divorce.

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Thank you, Susan ... and wishes for continued happiness for you ... YOU do deserve it !

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Originally Posted by Rebecca Chastain:
The best advice I think is to take your time getting to know someone, & never let anyone rush you into anything you're not ready for. I found taking my time before meeting woud tend to weed out the weirdos of the bunch, lol.

Great advice.  I found that same thing to be true for me.  My guy and I were just talking about that since next Monday is our 5th "email anniversary" He had to email me 3 times before I decided he was really serious and finally answered him back.  Then, I don't know how many times he asked me for my phone number before I was ready...and then even longer before making plans for our first date, which he ended up cancelling...said he was sick etc.  It turned out he was sick, but I had my doubts at the time and thought he had changed his mind. To make up for that, he made plans for an even better date to my favorite restaurant...and the rest is history!  ;D

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Originally Posted by Teri Lacy:

Originally Posted by Rebecca Chastain:
The best advice I think is to take your time getting to know someone, & never let anyone rush you into anything you're not ready for. I found taking my time before meeting woud tend to weed out the weirdos of the bunch, lol.

Fantastic advice Becky !

Thanks! I just think it makes sense. Always worked for me.

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Originally Posted by Susan Stigall:
I met my guy on match.com  I got on there after being separated for just about 5 months because I realized I'm online all the time, so where else was I going to meet someone?

He and I clicked immediately and had/have just about everything in common, fortunately.  We've been together for 5 months now and I know our experience isn't typical, because I've had some other friends go on and they've told me their experiences.  I also chatted with a few other guys on there and realized very quickly it wasn't for me. He also told me he did date a few women from the site and typically it was a one date event never turning into anything else.  I even cringe now when I see their ad's and when he and I are asked how we met we bypass the whole **match** comment and talk about where we met the first time.  Teri, you're a smart woman, you know it's online and with anything else...it's the internet.  Most aren't going to represent themselves accurately.

Once again, I feel blessed that someone was watching over me and sent the right person my way (fairly quickly) after what I went through with my separation and upcoming divorce.

I never had a problem telling people I met someone online. After all, that's where most people seem to meet people any more. I'm glad things are going so well for you two! It's nice to see you so happy!  

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Originally Posted by Tiramisu Sue:

Originally Posted by Rebecca Chastain:
The best advice I think is to take your time getting to know someone, & never let anyone rush you into anything you're not ready for. I found taking my time before meeting woud tend to weed out the weirdos of the bunch, lol.

Great advice.  I found that same thing to be true for me.  My guy and I were just talking about that since next Monday is our 5th "email anniversary" He had to email me 3 times before I decided he was really serious and finally answered him back.  Then, I don't know how many times he asked me for my phone number before I was ready...and then even longer before making plans for our first date, which he ended up cancelling...said he was sick etc.  It turned out he was sick, but I had my doubts at the time and thought he had changed his mind. To make up for that, he made plans for an even better date to my favorite restaurant...and the rest is history!  ;D

Thanks Sue! That's how I was too. It took me forever to meet someone online, if I decided to at all. Quite a few never made it that far, lol. But, I liked the idea that online I could take my time & get to know someone at my pace, not somebody elses. Congrats on your 5'th email anniversary!

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Originally Posted by Rebecca Chastain:


I never had a problem telling people I met someone online. After all, that's where most people seem to meet people any more. I'm glad things are going so well for you two! It's nice to see you so happy!  

It's really not that there's an issue telling people we met online ... we still have that in our backpocket so/speak ... I think it's more of the stigma that goes along with *Match* now from some of the stories we have both been hearing and it somehow feels it cheapens what we have.  

and Thank You Becky ...  It's great to feel and be so happy once again!  : )