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Originally Posted by Scott Terry:

Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:

Originally Posted by Scott Terry:
I dunno.

After reading this, there's so many things to think about that my brain hurts.

I've always been happy with the "I'll do you and you do me kind of philosophy."

Have you ever flipped a coin first? I have this special set of dice that.... well, they're fun regardless of the coin toss

I've got a special coin.  It always comes up "heads".

I have a special set of dice too scott.. but..I dont think I will be bringing them on any dinner dates.. lol

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it's not so complicataed as you're making it seem!  I'm with Teri - say what you mean, mean what you say.  If I get even the slightest vibe that's not what's happening, I'm outta there.  

And dating is the same as any human relationship...treat the person as you'd want to be treated in similar circumstances. Be fair, be nice, say thank you and you're welcome.  Forever!

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Nina and Tonya are two very wise woman !

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i will say this. the best advice you can get is your own advice. in other words, you can read up on something, or try to learn from the mistakes of others, but unless you've made the mistakes yourself and lived through it first hand, you won't really have the incite needed to have a full understanding.

i think the mistake that too many people make when starting a relationship, is that they try to be something they're not. instead of just being themselves and being upfront about who they are, a lot people try to create this ideal image of themselves. in a way it only makes sense to put your best foot forward, but once the newness wears off, you're left with a different person than when you started.

that's all i got.

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oh, as for the original post, i wouldn't know. i've never read one. i say blaze your own trail.

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I think with an open mind, a healthy sense of intuition and empathy, a genuine desire to learn and grow, and healthy ranges of self-esteem and self-respect, then we can learn from other people’s mistakes, especially if that other person is someone we’re close to. But if a person lacks these very important senses and values and doesn’t generally make healthy connections with others, then they’re deprived of feeling another person’s pain, and I feel such a person isn’t likely to learn from another person’s mistakes.

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Originally Posted by Scott Terry:

Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:

Originally Posted by Scott Terry:
I dunno.

After reading this, there's so many things to think about that my brain hurts.

I've always been happy with the "I'll do you and you do me kind of philosophy."

Have you ever flipped a coin first? I have this special set of dice that.... well, they're fun regardless of the coin toss

I've got a special coin.  It always comes up "heads".

I've read these types of books in the past and while they may have some helpful ideas, basing a relationship or anything else on a book is just ridiculous. Nobody else can give you more than general thoughts because they aren't in the relationship and they aren't you. I'm a firm believer in making your own evaluations and decisions because only YOU have to live with them....I've made some doozies but I learned from it every time.

As far as paying ON FIRST DATES, here is my brutally honest take on it:

If I ask a man out to dinner, I plan on paying but it's important that he at least offer or say the next one is on him. I will turn the offer down to pay for this meal but it lets me know you're a gentlemen and I won't have to support you later.  (i.e. you're welcome to make moves anytime I've asked YOU out, lol)

If a man asks me out and says let's go dutch, it's not a date, it's buddies hanging out.(i.e. don't bother getting all touchy-feely, lol)

If a man asks me out and doesn't mention going dutch then it's a date and I expect him to pay. I will show up with enough money for my own dinner, because my Momma taught me well, but you aren't looking too great in my eyes if I have to use it. This and any future get dinners are now in the buddy category.  (i.e. don't expect to score...........ever, lol)

If I've been dating somebody and we are exclusive, it's a whole different story. I've probably funded close to half the dates then because we're in it together at that point.

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Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:
I think with an open mind, a healthy sense of intuition and empathy, a genuine desire to learn and grow, and healthy ranges of self-esteem and self-respect, then we can learn from other people’s mistakes, especially if that other person is someone we’re close to. But if a person lacks these very important senses and values and doesn’t generally make healthy connections with others, then they’re deprived of feeling another person’s pain, and I feel such a person isn’t likely to learn from another person’s mistakes.

sometimes i think you just like to argue.

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Never finished a self help book , because I know how to just help myself ...

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Originally Posted by Sherry Holiday:
Never finished a self help book , because I know how to just help myself ...

Cute, Baby!  

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Originally Posted by Sherry Holiday:
Never finished a self help book , because I know how to just help myself ...

And I always wash my hands after I help myself  

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Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:

Originally Posted by Sherry Holiday:
Never finished a self help book , because I know how to just help myself ...

And I always wash my hands after I help myself  

Too much information...

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Originally Posted by Wendy Vinca:

I've read these types of books in the past and while they may have some helpful ideas, basing a relationship or anything else on a book is just ridiculous.

I couldn't agree more.

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If the book is about how to get a relationship...probably not helpful.  If the book is about how to work on a relationship, and both parties want to get some ideas on how to work things out together...may be helpful.  If the book is a top-seller...definitely helpful to the author's bank account!

I give my relationship advice for free!  LOL. If you're honest, and open, and kind, and giving...and cautious without being overly suspicious...it's really just a matter of being with the right person...the right match for you.  It's that simple, but because there are so  many different variables on what the right match is, it's that complicated.

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I read a bunch of "Self Help" books a number of years ago.  And since that time I've patiently been waiting all this time for the, "Help Yourself" follow-ups.