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Guys, how would you feel about a woman proposing to you rather than vice versa? I just saw this happen in an episode of Harry's Law on Hulu and I can see a lot of guys feeling put off by it.

I'm not at all conventionally romantic in this regard; I'd rather my future wife and I come to this together rather than my being pursuant of her or vice versa.

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Does it matter these days there all ways like to be incharge
I would like it my self

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Women are always in control.  It's just that most of the time, we aren't conscious of that fact.

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What ever !  

Not sure what kind of girls y'all hang with but that's just not the case.  

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Originally Posted by Scott Terry:

Women are always in control.  It's just that most of the time, we aren't conscious of that fact.

Which means they are smart enough to be in control without making the men in their worlds feel out of control . . .  

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Originally Posted by Donna Brown:

Originally Posted by Scott Terry:

Women are always in control.  It's just that most of the time, we aren't conscious of that fact.

Which means they are smart enough to be in control without making the men in their worlds feel out of control . . .  

Exactly!

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Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:
Guys, how would you feel about a woman proposing to you rather than vice versa? I just saw this happen in an episode of Harry's Law on Hulu and I can see a lot of guys feeling put off by it.

I'm not at all conventionally romantic in this regard; I'd rather my future wife and I come to this together rather than my being pursuant of her or vice versa.

So what are you saying?  That you and your future wife will telepathically know that you both want to get married?  I think that somebody needs to do the asking, and somebody needs to do the answering. Otherwise there's too much assuming.

As far as control...some of that comes with doing the proposing....and some of that comes with either accepting or rejecting the proposal.  So, don't worry guys...you get to feel in control no matter what!

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Originally Posted by Tiramisu Sue:

Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:
Guys, how would you feel about a woman proposing to you rather than vice versa? I just saw this happen in an episode of Harry's Law on Hulu and I can see a lot of guys feeling put off by it.

I'm not at all conventionally romantic in this regard; I'd rather my future wife and I come to this together rather than my being pursuant of her or vice versa.

So what are you saying?  That you and your future wife will telepathically know that you both want to get married?  I think that somebody needs to do the asking, and somebody needs to do the answering. Otherwise there's too much assuming.

As far as control...some of that comes with doing the proposing....and some of that comes with either accepting or rejecting the proposal.  So, don't worry guys...you get to feel in control no matter what!

Rather than spelling out the whole todo, this was a simplified way of suggesting a process where a couple's relationship evolves with nurturing values and reciprocal behaviors that result not only in marriage, but life-long loving harmony. Well, I suppose that's really another vague simplification. But when conventional dating and marriage proposals have proven far too often to fail, why repeat the same unreliable and vain processes?

How many guys propose to a woman not really knowing for sure if she'll say yes? How many women become neurotic while waiting for him to propose? How many guys feel peer pressure to "put a ring on her finger"? How many people go from a toxic marriage, to a hostile divorce, and right back into their next relationship without first taking time to heal and evolve, and then eventually right back into the divorce process? There are very good reasons for these dysfunctions, and I don't care to repeat them, so I set conventional thinking aside.

Granted, Marriage has a very bad reputation here in America, maybe even around the entire planet. But I love marriage, I think it's a beautiful thing and look forward to it again someday. But in the vague statements I made above, there's no mind reading, but there's sure a lot of nutritional conversation and intimacy building along the way.

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Not meaning to be rude, but you really, really have a tendency to over think (and over state) things. Obviously someone has to ask (as Sue already said) and someone has to respond. It's not always about wondering if you can write the next relationship book or blog but about being human and having emotion and sometimes just going with what feels right at the moment. In other words, if two people love each other and want to get married, does it really matter who does the asking?

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If two people are truly in love, they ought to be able to ask each other ANY question!!!

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Originally Posted by Bob InBama:
If two people are truly in love, they ought to be able to ask each other ANY question!!!

(I just pushed the **like** button) ....

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My first impression was to say that it didn't matter who did the asking.

But, in my case, she would have to be the one who asks, or tells me...and probably have to do a lot of convincing.  But...I have never been big on rituals.  I have never understood 'standard roles' whether based on sex or age.  And I have difficulties placing value on symbols.

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Originally Posted by Keith Larson:
My first impression was to say that it didn't matter who did the asking.

But, in my case, she would have to be the one who asks, or tells me...and probably have to do a lot of convincing.  But...I have never been big on rituals.  I have never understood 'standard roles' whether based on sex or age.  And I have difficulties placing value on symbols.

I'm not big on symbols either. I think in my first marriage, all the symbolic things were mostly to settle everyone else's need for them. Maybe a wedding ring is nice, and maybe an engagement ring means a thing or two, but using these for example, they're not required for me to love and be in love with my partner. But I have a bias here; I remember being told "You must not love her very much" by the Jeweler's wife who frowned on my inability to afford the ring she wanted to sell me, and that has always left a sour taste for this particular symbol.

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Originally Posted by Scott Terry:

Women are always in control.  It's just that most of the time, we aren't conscious of that fact.

The last time I was in control was before I met Ralph. He just kind of took over. Not complaining, except when I have to give up (temporarily!) my road trips!

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Originally Posted by Susan Stigall:

Originally Posted by Bob InBama:
If two people are truly in love, they ought to be able to ask each other ANY question!!!

(I just pushed the **like** button) ....