| 01/07/2011 7:16 am |
 Forum Fanatic

Regist.: 01/04/2011 Topics: 39 Posts: 190
 OFFLINE | John Edwards proposed to his baby mama, Rielle Hunter, during a holiday getaway -- and introduced her and their love child to his kids -- barely three weeks after their mother, Elizabeth Edwards, died of cancer, the National Enquirer reported yesterday.
The former Democratic presidential candidate brought his children -- Cate, 28, Jack, 10 and Emma Claire, 12 -- for the first meeting with his ex-campaign videographer and their 2-year-old half-sister, Frances Quinn Hunter, at a chain eatery called the Macaroni Grill in Charlotte, NC.
Edwards, according to the Enquirer's source, had thought it was time for the still-grieving Jack and Emma to meet Frances Quinn. The two children had known of their half-sister, but Elizabeth had banned such a meeting from occurring, the source said.
this isn't confirmed yet, but either way, this guy is a huge sleazeball! |
|
|
| 01/07/2011 9:35 am |
 Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 39 Posts: 1140
 OFFLINE | yup, but we've known he was a sleazeball for a long time............ |
................
Just a gypsy at heart!
|
| 01/07/2011 9:49 am |
 Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/27/2010 Topics: 2 Posts: 555
 OFFLINE | yes, not news to me either, I smelled this mans stink the first time he ran for vice president. |
|
|
| 01/07/2011 9:56 am |
 Cool Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 142 Posts: 2128
 OFFLINE | At first glance, I though of him as a clown. At first thought, I didn't want a clown in the VP's chair, so I voted Republican in that election with the lesser of two evils in mind. Yet somehow this clown managed to manipulate a LOT of subsequent media attention and I got so sick of seeing his face all the time in the news and whatnot with all his drama. And for those who know him personally, I wonder how much his face might appear in their thoughts if they were to read books like Snakes In Suits or Without Conscience. Something tells me he fits the bill there. |
|
|
| 01/07/2011 10:47 am |
 Administrator Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/23/2010 Topics: 221 Posts: 1299
 OFFLINE | When someone 'steals' your spouse, the greatest revenge is ...
... to let them have them. |
|
|
| 01/07/2011 11:32 am |
 Moderator Forum Fanatic

Regist.: 12/24/2010 Topics: 10 Posts: 446
 OFFLINE | Couldn't have said it better Scott.....
I do feel for the children though....they are the innocent's... |
................
“Life is not always perfect, none of us are, and we aren't here for very long. **Life** is what **you make of it**, so enjoy the dance while you are in it!!”
|
| 01/07/2011 4:36 pm |
 Cool Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 142 Posts: 2128
 OFFLINE | Originally Posted by Susan Stigall: Couldn't have said it better Scott.....
I do feel for the children though....they are the innocent's...
Yea, I very much do agree with you both. A part of me would like to say that the cheating spouse serves as a good example to the kids as how NOT to be. But I don't feel there's an easy and neutral way to present it as such - and I disagree with the idea of talking 'bad' about the cheating spouse in front of the kids. But it never ceases to amaze me that the cheating spouse made a conscious decision to do what they've done - knowing there's a chance that it could severely affect their children traumatically. But subjectively, I also disagree with the idea of their relationship staying together just for the sake of the kids; I think the relationship should be ended.
I dunno, this kind of thing strikes a very deep nerve with me and i've unfortunately developed quite a prejudice towards it :/ |
|
|
| 01/07/2011 4:40 pm |
 Cool Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 142 Posts: 2128
 OFFLINE | Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:
Originally Posted by Susan Stigall: Couldn't have said it better Scott.....
I do feel for the children though....they are the innocent's...
Yea, I very much do agree with you both. A part of me would like to say that the cheating spouse serves as a good example to the kids as how NOT to be. But I don't feel there's an easy and neutral way to present it as such - and I disagree with the idea of talking 'bad' about the cheating spouse in front of the kids. But it never ceases to amaze me that the cheating spouse made a conscious decision to do what they've done - knowing there's a chance that it could severely affect their children traumatically. But subjectively, I also disagree with the idea of their relationship staying together just for the sake of the kids; I think the relationship should be ended.
I dunno, this kind of thing strikes a very deep nerve with me and i've unfortunately developed quite a prejudice towards it :/
Now I'm just venting a thought. But yanno how some guys feel compelled to compete with other guys for the same woman? Or how some women like guys to compete for them? In the idea of one man taking a woman away from her husband, who's to say that this competitive behavior didn't play a part in it?
For example, John and Joey compete for Sally and John wins and marries Sally. Then 5 years down the road, Ronnie comes into the scene and competitively speaking, he suddenly seems more attractive to Sally than does John, and Sally leaves John for Ronnie - and the process cycles. Granted, this is a crazy hypothetical, but then,,,, is it really? And of course this is gender neutral because some guys enjoy women competing for them as well.
Again,,, this kind of thing really strikes a very deep nerve with me  ,,,, |
|
|
| 01/07/2011 4:42 pm |
 Cool Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 142 Posts: 2128
 OFFLINE | But then ultimately speaking, like Scott said, if I've married a woman and she leaves me for a guy she thinks has out-competed (out-competed?) me, then ultimately, I don't want her anyways, regardless of how much it might hurt at first. Eventually that pain will heal and I'll move on and be physically, emotionally, and spiritually available for a more compatible partner.
I think I'm done ranting now  |
|
|
| 01/07/2011 5:33 pm |
 Moderator Forum Fanatic

Regist.: 12/24/2010 Topics: 10 Posts: 446
 OFFLINE | It strikes a raw nerve with a lot of people Shawn...it's OK.....
I think what it boils down for me is this....I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I guess what I don't understand is the need to cheat (?)...why not end the relationship...then move on...have enough integrity to go to the other person and say it isn't working for the sake of the other person and in this case...the children, etc.
On the other hand, what you were also speaking about...for the life of me, I don't understand other people's need to infiltrate another couple's relationship before it has ended. The sanctity of a relationship or marriage should be respected. |
................
“Life is not always perfect, none of us are, and we aren't here for very long. **Life** is what **you make of it**, so enjoy the dance while you are in it!!”
|
| 01/07/2011 5:54 pm |
 Cool Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 142 Posts: 2128
 OFFLINE | Originally Posted by Susan Stigall: It strikes a raw nerve with a lot of people Shawn...it's OK.....
I think what it boils down for me is this....I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I guess what I don't understand is the need to cheat (?)...why not end the relationship...then move on...have enough integrity to go to the other person and say it isn't working for the sake of the other person and in this case...the children, etc.
I feel there's a variety of reasons why different people cheat; need (very subjective, including sex addiction & sexual incompatibility with their partner), a rationalized escape from loneliness, revenge against their spouse, having been socialized that it's okay or even normal adult behavior, and probably many more that aren't coming to mind. And though none of these are acceptable to me, I think it's important that victims of this dysfunction understand possible answers to the question of 'why' it happened because I feel this helps them to learn the life-long process of forgiveness.
But yanno, I see all kinds of things written that's geared towards helping people reduce the risks of cheating corrupting their relationships. And in all that mess, it seems to me that the best way to avoid being cheated on is to not become involved with a cheater. But few people care to or have the time to learn how to access this of their potential partners. Regardless, I think these preventative measures may only help a very little - if at all.
Originally Posted by Susan Stigall: On the other hand, what you were also speaking about...for the life of me, I don't understand other people's need to infiltrate another couple's relationship before it has ended. The sanctity of a relationship or marriage should be respected.
I think society has come to a point where very little has any sacred value left to it. Throughout 2010, one thing kept entering my thoughts, the expression "What we value." How many people anymore really value the continuity of their relationship or marriage for reasons other than material gain/sustenance? I think there are many, but largely, I think those who do are the minority.
Another thing we've become good at is violating other people's boundaries. In that sense, so many people have become raging sociopaths; maybe not literally, but seemingly. How many people feel some superficial or inauthentic sense of temporary power when they convince a married person to commit adultery with them? But who are they feeling power over, the person they're trying to have sex with, or that person's spouse, or both? When I consider my ex's behavior towards her boyfriend's wife, my ex demonstrated a LOT of power-over behavior towards him and his wife and wow was it ever ugly to me (which helped in my healing process ironically).
One thing I know for certain is that each person's motivations are unique and only they know themselves why really they do what they do; nobody is clairvoyant (or so I think). But that doesn't stop me from seeking an answer to life's most difficult question; why? |
|
|
| 01/07/2011 6:21 pm |
 Moderator Forum Fanatic

Regist.: 12/24/2010 Topics: 10 Posts: 446
 OFFLINE | Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:
Originally Posted by Susan Stigall: It strikes a raw nerve with a lot of people Shawn...it's OK.....
I think what it boils down for me is this....I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I guess what I don't understand is the need to cheat (?)...why not end the relationship...then move on...have enough integrity to go to the other person and say it isn't working for the sake of the other person and in this case...the children, etc.
I feel there's a variety of reasons why different people cheat; need (very subjective, including sex addiction & sexual incompatibility with their partner), a rationalized escape from loneliness, revenge against their spouse, having been socialized that it's okay or even normal adult behavior, and probably many more that aren't coming to mind. And though none of these are acceptable to me, I think it's important that victims of this dysfunction understand possible answers to the question of 'why' it happened because I feel this helps them to learn the life-long process of forgiveness.
But yanno, I see all kinds of things written that's geared towards helping people reduce the risks of cheating corrupting their relationships. And in all that mess, it seems to me that the best way to avoid being cheated on is to not become involved with a cheater. But few people care to or have the time to learn how to access this of their potential partners. Regardless, I think these preventative measures may only help a very little - if at all.
I do agree with your statement about it's best to avoid getting into a relationship with a cheater...however, there are those who are exceptional at hiding the fact they have those tendencies...then there are also long term relationship's that possibly the relationship takes a turn at some point and it happens unfortunately which couldn't be predicted, or the person was really good at hiding it up unto a point unfortunately as well.
Then the saying **hindsight's 20/20** applies here.... |
................
“Life is not always perfect, none of us are, and we aren't here for very long. **Life** is what **you make of it**, so enjoy the dance while you are in it!!”
|
| 01/07/2011 8:36 pm |
 Cool Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 142 Posts: 2128
 OFFLINE | Originally Posted by Susan Stigall: I do agree with your statement about it's best to avoid getting into a relationship with a cheater...however, there are those who are exceptional at hiding the fact they have those tendencies...then there are also long term relationship's that possibly the relationship takes a turn at some point and it happens unfortunately which couldn't be predicted, or the person was really good at hiding it up unto a point unfortunately as well.
Then the saying **hindsight's 20/20** applies here....
I think one thing I'm grateful for in the Hindsight 20/20 thing is that it seems to teach us that there's always more we can learn about love and relationships and what seems to help influence greater long-term continuity, integrity, growth, and harmony between two people in love.
But regarding the truly gifted conmen/women, I've found that it's not actually necessary to spend a lifetime studying psychology from a variety of different angles. Granted, learning a fair degree of the fundamentals is favorable, I've found it more reliable for some people to nurture their senses of conscience, empathy, and especially intuition. It's like God giving you an indication that something isn't quite right about another person, and you trust what you feel God tells you (intuition/faith/self-esteem), and regarding the actual (maybe clinical) specifics what of what makes that person incompatible with you is for God and psychologists/pathologists to worry about - not you specifically; you just exercise rejection accordingly and remain available for your own continued growth/living and maybe someday a more truly compatible partner. Well, something like that anyways. |
|
|
| 01/07/2011 9:12 pm |
 Cool Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 142 Posts: 2128
 OFFLINE | Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:
Originally Posted by Susan Stigall: I do agree with your statement about it's best to avoid getting into a relationship with a cheater...however, there are those who are exceptional at hiding the fact they have those tendencies...then there are also long term relationship's that possibly the relationship takes a turn at some point and it happens unfortunately which couldn't be predicted, or the person was really good at hiding it up unto a point unfortunately as well.
Then the saying **hindsight's 20/20** applies here....
I think one thing I'm grateful for in the Hindsight 20/20 thing is that it seems to teach us that there's always more we can learn about love and relationships and what seems to help influence greater long-term continuity, integrity, growth, and harmony between two people in love.
But regarding the truly gifted conmen/women, I've found that it's not actually necessary to spend a lifetime studying psychology from a variety of different angles. Granted, learning a fair degree of the fundamentals is favorable, I've found it more reliable for some people to nurture their senses of conscience, empathy, and especially intuition. It's like God giving you an indication that something isn't quite right about another person, and you trust what you feel God tells you (intuition/faith/self-esteem), and regarding the actual (maybe clinical) specifics what of what makes that person incompatible with you is for God and psychologists/pathologists to worry about - not you specifically; you just exercise rejection accordingly and remain available for your own continued growth/living and maybe someday a more truly compatible partner. Well, something like that anyways.
There's something buggin in my mind I want to add to this that might seem very bassackwards. The more I learn about developing, improving, rebuilding, whathaveyou, our self-esteem, the more the message becomes clear that our 'center' must always remain within ourselves. Even when we're married and in love, our center must always remain within us. This goes on to say that, generally speaking, we're to put ourselves our highest priority. From one angle, that might seem like narcissism or maybe simple selfishness. But from another angle, if we (generally) put ourselves our highest priority, then we improve our ability to love others, to be there for others, to nurture others, etc, thus, improving our ability to experience healthier relationships.
But in the case of being fooled by the best of the conmen/women in the world, if during the course of our relationship with that person we've kept our center within ourselves and put ourselves (generally) our highest priority, then our separation from such conmen/women when the time comes is far less traumatic than it is for a person who places their center and highest priority within the conman/woman.
But when I emphasize (generally) above, it means that a truly esteemed and self-loving individual recognizes the need for priorities to vary and shift from self to others regularly or in crisis.
Anywho, it seems socially unacceptable for a person to maintain possession of their 'center' in relationships, and I think its unpopularity shackles an awful lot of people. |
|
|
| 01/08/2011 1:09 am |
 Forum Addict

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 1 Posts: 245
 OFFLINE | Well people change...for whatever reason....but you do say vows....till death do us part.... as far as I'm concerned.... he'll have to meet his maker in the end....and then...and only then...will things be righted. I think his wife was a saint for putting up with him....and I agree with Susan...the kids are who are hurt in a nasty mess like this one was. Hope he can live with himself! |
|
|
|