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I'd say that I'd agree that living together before marriage is not a realistic trial.  That's not saying I'd have a problem with either living together or marriage...just that I don't think a trial is accurate.  I'm not sure if overall generalizations can be applied to any specific couple either.

The only direct personal experience I've had was at one time after a couple of years of dating, moved in with someone, and we could have killed each other after a couple of months.  Previously, I was engaged not living with her and but she died before our wedding date.  We were both young and a bit goofy and fiery so I'm not sure if it would have lasted long anyway.

One of my brothers lived with someone first for 10 years, got married, and they just had their 25th anniversary.  One of my sisters lived with someone for a couple of years, set a wedding date, called off the wedding by moving in with the best man, lived with him for a few years, married him, and that marriage lasted almost 20 years before they broke up.  Another brother married without living together and that's been strong since 1970.  Another sister hasn't lived with anyone before marriage...but is on her 6th.

My parents relationship from first date to marriage was less than 2 weeks.  They were embarrassingly gushy up to his death 24 years later.

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Originally Posted by Keith Larson:


My parents relationship from first date to marriage was less than 2 weeks.  They were embarrassingly gushy up to his death 24 years later.

I really like that.

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I've been thinking a lot about this subject, most likely because it's of great interest to me right now...most of you know my situation...separated in June...and now I've found this great man....

As far as living with someone or dating them for a length of time before marrying them...I have mixed feelings about this.  I was in a 6 year relationship with my ex before we married, we didn't live together...although we were young I knew exactly what I wanted and felt I knew him.  I was very committed to our marriage.  34 years later, I thought I knew him as well...turns out I really didn't...and still don't.

Infatuation does hit very hard at first in new relationship's especially when we are young and I remember it with my ex.  I remember it this time too...but it was different this time and maybe because I'm older reality sets in a bit quicker too because of life and I recognize feelings for what they are a bit earlier.  I do agree it is very wise to get to know your partner.  What I'm learning is communication is the biggest key in a relationship...and it begins from the very start.  Time spent together, honesty, common interest's, chemistry, and a lot of talking.  I think it's a personal choice either way.  In the end it's either going to have it or not, make it or not it's up to the two people involved.

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Originally Posted by Susan Stigall:
... In the end it's either going to have it or not, make it or not it's up to the two people involved.

And truer words have never been spoken.  If two adults want to make something work, they will.
(Sorry, Susan ... but glad to see you are smiling and bouncing back.)

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Originally Posted by Teri Lacy:

(Sorry, Susan ... but glad to see you are smiling and bouncing back.)

Thank you Lacy...it's nice to be **me** again...

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Lived with my now husband for 17 years (with two 6 month breaks in between) before we got married. Had one one month break after our marraige. I believe it was meant to last..........