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Ok, here's the scenario: My ex calls me up on his scheduled visitation and asks me to keep Xander. No problem! The problem arises when he turns around and then asks his mom to watch Xander and doesn't bring him over to me. Meanwhile, I'm sitting in anticipation and excitement of getting to spend extra time with my son. He says I'm overreacting to something minor, I say I'm not because my son is my world and I would drop everything, even a date, to spend more time with my son so I think my ex is being inconsiderate. What is your take on this situation?

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To be blunt ...

He's an inconsiderate **** and you should wake up thrilled every morning that you've escaped his web.

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^^^^ I was just thinking this dude must have been born with an extra **** gene or something. What a fukkin prick!

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I think that, while maybe it's nice that your son spends time with his grandmother, your ex was inconsiderate to make plans with you and then just cancel like that.

And I agree with Scott...be thankful that he is an EX! It sounds to me like he's using your son as a pawn in some kind of power trip game.

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His picture should be in the dictionary next to the word JERK!

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Originally Posted by Tiramisu Sue:
I think that, while maybe it's nice that your son spends time with his grandmother, your ex was inconsiderate to make plans with you and then just cancel like that.

And I agree with Scott...be thankful that he is an EX! It sounds to me like he's using your son as a pawn in some kind of power trip game.

I think this could make Michele's job as a parent even harder. Trying to raise kids with healthy values seems like one of life's biggest monumental responsibilities. Even more monumental when the ex is this big of a jackwagon.

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Originally Posted by Bob InBama:
His picture should be in the dictionary next to the word JERK!

I agree. But I suggest the Urban Dictionary so that there are more colorful word choices

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Originally Posted by Michele McPhalen:
Ok, here's the scenario: My ex calls me up on his scheduled visitation and asks me to keep Xander. No problem! The problem arises when he turns around and then asks his mom to watch Xander and doesn't bring him over to me. Meanwhile, I'm sitting in anticipation and excitement of getting to spend extra time with my son. He says I'm overreacting to something minor, I say I'm not because my son is my world and I would drop everything, even a date, to spend more time with my son so I think my ex is being inconsiderate. What is your take on this situation?

So your son was already with his Dad (who has custody ?) and the Dad called and said he needed you to keep son even though it was his schedule ?   But instead of bringing him over as arranged, he took him to the Grandma ?   and neglected to tell you ?

How old is Xander ?  Did you call when the time came and no Xander ?

Yes I think it's inconsiderate ... but I personally would check if late became like a half hour or more.  It's my experience with my Ex that we lacked good communication when we were married and I've not expected that to improve when we're not.

Making a huge deal of it will bring Xander into it and add to the "pawn" syndrome just as much as he does ... I'd just chalk it up to business as usual ... that's why he is an EX.

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He's an inconsiderate ****. Period.

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Originally Posted by Shawn Ishness:

Originally Posted by Tiramisu Sue:
I think that, while maybe it's nice that your son spends time with his grandmother, your ex was inconsiderate to make plans with you and then just cancel like that.

And I agree with Scott...be thankful that he is an EX! It sounds to me like he's using your son as a pawn in some kind of power trip game.

I think this could make Michele's job as a parent even harder. Trying to raise kids with healthy values seems like one of life's biggest monumental responsibilities. Even more monumental when the ex is this big of a jackwagon.

Yes, it can be difficult to maintain composure and not criticize an ex in front of the children.  My ex has done so many things to ruin his relationship with our children, and when they complain to me, I try to bite my tongue and instead suggest things to repair that relationship.  My son is close to his dad now, but when my daughter gets married next year I'm not sure she'll even invite him to the wedding.

Good luck Michele....stay strong!

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Originally Posted by Scott Terry:
To be blunt ...

He's an inconsiderate **** and you should wake up thrilled every morning that you've escaped his web.

Agreed!

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Originally Posted by Teri Lacy:

Originally Posted by Michele McPhalen:
Ok, here's the scenario: My ex calls me up on his scheduled visitation and asks me to keep Xander. No problem! The problem arises when he turns around and then asks his mom to watch Xander and doesn't bring him over to me. Meanwhile, I'm sitting in anticipation and excitement of getting to spend extra time with my son. He says I'm overreacting to something minor, I say I'm not because my son is my world and I would drop everything, even a date, to spend more time with my son so I think my ex is being inconsiderate. What is your take on this situation?

So your son was already with his Dad (who has custody ?) and the Dad called and said he needed you to keep son even though it was his schedule ?   But instead of bringing him over as arranged, he took him to the Grandma ?   and neglected to tell you ?

How old is Xander ?  Did you call when the time came and no Xander ?

Yes I think it's inconsiderate ... but I personally would check if late became like a half hour or more.  It's my experience with my Ex that we lacked good communication when we were married and I've not expected that to improve when we're not.

Making a huge deal of it will bring Xander into it and add to the "pawn" syndrome just as much as he does ... I'd just chalk it up to business as usual ... that's why he is an EX.

We have joint custody but my ex is the primary caretaker, long story, I was supposed to get him but my lawyer quit after I paid her $1500 and I didn't want to fight it out in court without representation.

Xander is 7 years old.  

I pick Xander up from school everyday because my ex works nights. He usually comes and picks him up from me on his day to have Xander.  Instead, he called me and asked me if I could keep him on one of his nights and then he told me he would call me and let me know for sure later. Then I called his mother and she said he had already asked her to watch Xander for him. He had done this to me before, telling me I could have Xander one weekend and then I called to find out why he hadn't brought him over and he told me because his mom was watching him. So now I can't trust that he isn't dicking me around and enjoying the only way he has left of hurting me.  

Thanks everyone for your support.  I'm glad to know I'm not wrong in thinking he's an inconsiderate a$$.  

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What you're going though/dealing with really stinks Michelle! Being a single dad of two little girls, I completely know how you feel.

I do hope that after all this, you're still able to have a most wonderful Mother's Day with Xander!  

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Originally Posted by Michele McPhalen:
Thanks everyone for your support.  I'm glad to know I'm not wrong in thinking he's an inconsiderate a$$.  

I'm not sure how important this is, but does your ex-mother-in-law know about this happening?

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Originally Posted by Ron Bradlee:
What you're going though/dealing with really stinks Michelle! Being a single dad of two little girls, I completely know how you feel.

I do hope that after all this, you're still able to have a most wonderful Mother's Day with Xander!  

Thanks Ron.