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Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work



Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality. Ana, an accountant by day, began to have problems at work because the only way to relieve said anxiety is by masturbating. A lot. Now, after winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, Ana is allowed to masturbate and watch **** — using her work's computer, no less — legally.

Ana wasn't always like this, she was worse:

"I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."

Carlos Howert, Ana's doctor, prescribes Ana with a "cocktail" (read: an entire medicine cabinet's worth) of tranquillizers. We're not sure how that "cocktail" doesn't knock Ana out (half a Claritin feels like an elephant tranquillizer to us), but thanks to Dr. Howert's concoction, Ana only has to masturbate around eighteen-times a day.

So, like, a little less than Elvis Crespo.

Of course all of this sounds absurd and hilarious to most us but for Ana it's probably anything but. Last April she had to take her employer to court in order to be allowed to masturbate during work hours. Ana won.

Still, imagine an office full of of scandalized and perverted stares as you exit the bathroom or bend down to pick up a pencil — awkward? Very. Also, as a woman, having a bunch of men knowing you're a clinical nympho probably doesn't help deter unwanted sexual advances.


P.S. Ana's employer has announced that employment applications have experienced a sharp increase.

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Wait, you need a court order for this? Wupzie, my bad

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OK, seriously, I kind of see the need to masturbate to get rid of anxiety...... but if she's that turned on, why does she need the ****....????????

and maybe, just maybe..... she's in the wrong line of work?????

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I can't help wondering, though, if she'd actually feel offended at the suggestion of working as a **** star, even though she's been given legal permission to watch **** and masturbate obsessively at work.

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Wow...my son is an accountant...wonder if I have to worry about him doing this   I agree with you Jann....if her job is that high anxiety (which most accounting jobs are) maybe she needs a job at a different place!

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The mathematics of ****:

If she "only" has to do it 18 times a day now, that's about once every waking hour.  Figure 15 minutes per episode and another 10 for a cigarette after the blessed event.

So, during her 8 hour workday, she spends about 42% of her time in activities related to anxiety relief.

I WANT THAT JOB!