Column-Logbook for the Algemeen Dagblad
September 08, 2011
Translation for Zeilmeisje Laura Dekker on Facebook
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Each week in her column-logbook for the Algemeen Dagblad Laura Dekker will relate her journey around the world aboard her sailboat Guppy on her attempt to become the world's youngest circumnavigator.
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Algemen Daagblad interview
Saturday, September 10, 2011

[Front page: Zeilmeisje is at the half way point. Laura Dekker feels reborn ]

Page 8: Interview with Suzanne Docter
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Home felt like a prison with open doors

DARWIN - Sailor Laura Dekker is almost 16 and at the halfway point of her attempt to sail solo around the world as the youngest ever. In Darwin she talks about becoming a grown up, about feeling estranged from the Netherlands and about her parents. "There is nothing left between the Netherlands and me. I cannot connect with what I need there. However, I still do not know what I want exactly. I still have the world to discover for myself."

Winter in Darwin is a succession of warm and windless days. Laura, deeply sun-tanned with scars on her legs – witness to some of her days at sea - enjoys the azure-blue sea where her boat now lies bobbing up and down.
Suddenly she is attentively listening to her surroundings! "Shhh...I can hear them breathing". A few seconds later Laura is jumping up and down. "Look dolphins!" She points to a school of six just going by Guppy. "It has been a long time since I have seen dolphins"
Her last crossing was tough one and it would seem that her next leg to the Cocos Keeling Islands will be a hard one too. But now Laura the sailor has several weeks of work to do on her boat but also has to celebrate her coming birthday and take a little time off. She is somewhat at a loss with the meaning of time. Her father is helping her to keep in touch by reminding her that she is on a one year journey, with time past and time still to come.

You are at the halfway point of your voyage, and there are another nine months ahead of you. Was it your intention at anytime to sail non stop? [Sentence not clear]

"But then I would have missed lots of beautiful places and that would not have been realisticaly possible. As you can see Guppy is now in need of repairs: her steering wheel is out, her sails are torn and her rudder is jammed. And there are another thousands of other reasons she has to be taken out of the water. But this is not too worrying. Actually on a circumnavigation every boat is almost a wreck because of the wear and tear from the wind, the sun and the sea. But happily my father, who can do everything with his hands is with me right now...So I hope to be able to sail out again after my birthday."

Do you have to leave?

"The rain season will start soon but also after a while I get the jitterbugs even though I liked all the beautiful Islands and places and the big cities like Darwin here with the palm trees, white sandy beaches and kind people. I haven't had too much contact with my peers over all because they have a different life than mine so they have no clue about my trip or why I had to buy a boat and leave my parents. But here In Darwin I made friends with other kids who share my interest in sailing."

Are you living their dream?

"At first they would wish to trade their life with mine. After all I am doing what they would like to do, stuff like getting away from their parents and doing what they want all day and supposedly having parties all the time. But then they soon realize that it is very much different in reality amd that sailing is very hard work and even when ashore there is still plenty of work to do. So all in all they might not really want to trade places. But they find it is cool that I am doing it and that I am allowed to do it."

What other reason do you have for doing what you do?

"I spent years preparing my trip. I was driven by a call for adventure and I wanted to open my horizon on things... Sailing can be quite a bore at times. Departing is a nice moment but then by the second day I sometime find myself thinking ' what the ... am I doing here?' The wind usually blows from the wrong direction, the sails have to be adjusted all the time and there is the swell making you go up and down, up and down.. Still after going through all that... and finally getting here means a lot. Coming in is always nice, even in a storm or in rain because then you feel the 'kick' of having sailed thousands of miles on your own. It is exciting to know I did a long crossing and pushed my limits. But it doesn't mean I would go for dangererous stuff just for an adrenaline rush."

Could it also be about a desire to be independent and on your own?

“Yes, Guppy is my home and I enjoy living alone. I was brought up to be very independent, but to me 'home' felt somewhat like a prison inviting me to get away. There was always someone there looking over my shoulder so being on my own feels great. At times when my parents or friends came by for a while, it made me a little quizzy. But It is nice to see them now and there is Skype and e-mails to keep in touch and be close to each other."

Why?

"When I have someone visit me my rythm changes and it is not easy to get back into my own beat again afterwards. But also they all come in at the same time and I have to find a place for each and everyone one which is... Also they all want my attention... and they are not used to a life aboard a sailboat so..."

Now your father is here with you...

"I find it is really difficult with my father around... We have to do all the work on Guppy and so there is not much time for talk... And he is a perfectionist which drives me crazy. When I make repairs I usually do it on a temporary basis and he does not go for that. We talk stuff over for hours and in the end he often says that I am not listening to him. That could be why the further I am from the Netherlands the more I feel estranged but in some way this is good since I have to find my own way of doing things... Dad does his best to let me do as I think but still it is a difficult situation for me... But of course when he leaves I miss him."

Do you have down moments at times?

"During my crossing of the Atlantic Ocean I went through a heavy storm. Bad times like that have you cry and realize how far you are away from land.
The crossing to Tonga was rough too. I was sick for the first week and calm winds meant I hardly made progress. And then the winds came blowing from the wrong direction and the swell was seven meters high... I became sea sick. The next day I was alright again.. and never panicked.”

Have you ever wanted to quit?

“Of course I did! But this feeling vanished as soon as it came. But at the start of my journey it was there, that feeling. Some time before I came to Darwin, as I was sailing very close to New Zealand I thought of stopping and just stay there...because I always wanted to visit where I was born, Wangharei that is. But then because the Kinderbescherming delayed my voyage, I figured I didn't have the time to do so... It made me somewhat angry. But pleasant memories of talks and the like came back to me and writing and talking about it helped a lot...I still can visit New Zealand some time later.”

So you are not about to quit your trip?

“I would never let Guppy down. I do not care if my trip ends in the history books. I just want to do this for myself and I couldn't forgive myself for not trying.”

Is sailing difficult most of the time?

“The crossing to the Galápagos Islands was fantastic. I had good winds and very nice weather...And a beautiful sunset in the evening makes you feel so really happy. Sailing is like a love-hate relationship.. I love the sea but also I fear its power... it can engulf me all of a sudden.”

Has your voyage changed you?

“I changed completely. Now I know exactly what I can do and what my limits are but also I am more flexible. When I started on my journey I did not know my boat so well, with a 5 Beaufort wind I was still wondering if I had to reef my mainsail or not, but now I could almost sail blindfolded.
When people were asking if I could make it I replied ‘yes, of course‘ but I was asking the same question to myself too. At the time the Cape Verde Islands seemed very far from home, and now I am here so I know for sure that yes, I can make it all the way."

Were your expectations exceeded?

“Yes, however, the trip did not go as I intended. I did not want publicity and, of course, things broke from time to time. Still it could not be any better and it is all going better than I expected.”

You keep grumbling about the publicity... is it that bad all the time?

“It has some advantage too. Financially it does makes me more independent as some people follow my journey and give me money, just like the Dutch man who was here coming from Melbourne, some 4000 kilometres from here, to give me 100 Dollars.
But then publicity has its down side too. It feels nice when the people I meet on an island somewhere spontaneously [sentence incomplete]

...do something just because of me. Also everywhere people go ’Laura, Laura, can I this and that for you...?’
Sometimes it just is too much for me like when I was surrounded with cameras back in Panama after 38 hours without sleep...and those people didn’t even know my name.”

In Australia the focus on your trip seems better... Will there be an invitation to meet with your Australian counterpart Jessica Watson?

“I know Jessica was in Darwin to give a speech but sadly I was not yet here. I haven't heard about her since. For sure talking about our experiences would have been nice. Her trip was completely different from mine and at the time I was already busy with my preparations and she wasn't rightly famous then.
I had a good feedback from Abby Sunderland, who was out to circumnavigate the earth like her brother Zac... but then she had to stop. She wished me good luck and found it great that I passed the Torres Strait safe [sentence incomplete]

Change of subject. You have uttered something about your schoolwork...

“After working seriously for many months I had to leave my schoolwork behind. At sea I cannot work seriously and my stops are too short to get back at it. Now I have to focus on my voyage but after I want to continue on to get my HAVO 5.” [last highschool year diploma]

How do you plan to do this?

“I expect to have completed my journey sometime next spring. Then I'll be back in the Netherlands to attend school in Den Osse and can help my father finishing work on his boat ... Maybe I'll go to New Zealand when..."

Is this a farewell to the Netherlands?

“I have no connection to the Netherlands any longer... Not only because of all the bad experiences I had to endure [in 2009]. When I was back at the HISWA last March I did not feel like I was home anymore. Dutch is a different culture and a different way of life... I cannot find what I need there...But I don’t really know what... [sentence incomplete]