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The Girl Thread (Guys...don't you EVEN)
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The Girl Thread (Guys...don't you EVEN)
02/04/2011 9:34 pm

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What I want in a Man, Original List
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries



What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3.. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends



What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends



What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend



What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.



................

Just a gypsy at heart!
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02/10/2011 5:55 pm

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A possible reason why Women Shoot Men?
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02/10/2011 7:08 pm

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Ummm Shawn --- Forum Demigod...... just sayin'
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02/11/2011 8:19 am

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Yeah Shawn.. that would definitely be a problem...lol
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02/11/2011 8:35 am

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Just in here reading but still too tired to have much interesting to say  
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02/11/2011 8:41 am

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Originally Posted by Wendy Vinca:
Just in here reading but still too tired to have much interesting to say  



Maybe you tried to roll over too much in your sleep last night?

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02/11/2011 8:19 pm

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Originally Posted by Scott Terry:

Originally Posted by Wendy Vinca:
Just in here reading but still too tired to have much interesting to say  



Maybe you tried to roll over too much in your sleep last night?



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02/11/2011 10:15 pm

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Originally Posted by Scott Terry:

Originally Posted by Wendy Vinca:
Just in here reading but still too tired to have much interesting to say  



Maybe you tried to roll over too much in your sleep last night?



Actually I was t hinking maybe she had a couple nightmares about men.... ummmm ... just sayin'
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02/11/2011 10:22 pm

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A PMS GUIDE

Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other.

DANGEROUS:   "What's for dinner?"
SAFER:  "Can I help you with dinner?"
SAFEST:  "Where would you like to go for dinner?"

DANGEROUS:  "Are you wearing THAT?"
SAFER:  "Gee, you look good in brown."
SAFEST:  "Wow! Look at you!"

DANGEROUS:   "What are you so worked up about?"
SAFER:  "Could we be overreacting?"
SAFEST:  "Here's fifty dollars."

DANGEROUS:   "Should you be eating that?"
SAFER:  "You know, there are a lot of apples left."
SAFEST:  "Can I get you a glass of wine with that?"

DANGEROUS:   "What did you DO all day?"
SAFER:  "I hope you didn't overdo today."
SAFEST:  "I've always loved you in that robe."
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02/16/2011 8:18 pm

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"My girlfriend says I'm a breast man, but I don't think I'm so shallow that I can only see one aspect of a woman's being. I'm also a hooter man, a jug man, a knocker man, a melon man and an ah-ooooooooga! man."    — Tim H. Richweis.

"So i went into Victoria's Secret and asked one of the bra-fitting ladies if they carried AAs. And the lady goes, 'try radioshack'."    — thisismykittyx.

"As a well-endowed man, I'm here to tell you it's not always easy. For one thing, a lot of women won't date a guy whose **** are bigger than hers."    — Brad Osberg.

"Who gets to have sex with me ? There's only one fair way to decide this... I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. Okay, it's the one with the huge ****."    — Jim Rosenberg.

"Whenever I hear the saying 'Tit for Tat', I can't help but think, 'Way to go, Tat' !"    — Alex Calkins.

"Husbands are like fires; they go out when unattended."    — Zsa Zsa Gabor.

"There's nothing like a girl with a plunging neckline to keep a man on his toes."

"It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Let's face it, chocolate is much more reliable than any man."

"Women need a reason to have sex — Men just need a place."

One day, God calls on Adam & says, "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news ! The good news is that I gave you a **** and a brain. The bad news is that I only gave you enough blood to operate one organ at a time."

"God made Adam before Eve because you always make a rough draft before the final copy."

"It's true that all men are pigs. The trick is to tame one who knows how to find truffles."    — Lev L. Spiro.

"Men are like fine wine — they all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd like to have dinner with."    — Anonymous.

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful !"


Husband: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it".
Wife: "You wear briefs, don't you ?"
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02/16/2011 9:50 pm

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LIFE WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN ...

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02/18/2011 11:45 am

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02/24/2011 8:29 pm

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What makes a successful modern woman? According to Jennifer Garner, it's someone who defines herself – with a steadfast commitment to her goals, whether at the workplace or at home.

Garner, honored as one of Glamour magazine's Women of the Year for 2007, says today's ideal woman is "someone who unapologetically defines herself, whether to say, 'I love my career; that's going to be my focus' or 'I want to be home.' To be willing to grab on to that; to know what you want and do it."

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03/08/2011 6:59 pm

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03/31/2011 12:02 pm

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I lol'd.

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