What is the favorite part of your job?
CLOCKING OUT! Yes, seriously!
If you were to speak to a relationship counselor, would you prefer the counselor be male or female and why?
I’d prefer it to be a robot actually. This is because most counselors have pre-programmed responses to common things anyways. And if it were a robot, then maybe it’d come with Solitaire?
Does your employer give you your yearly Employee Benefits Book as a book-handout, a DVD, or a link to some webpage?
Whichever seems to be the cheapest route I guess. Lately it’s a webpage. I’d prefer a book though :/
when you’re dressing yourself for some occasion, like a date or a dance club, do you want people to notice you, or what you’re wearing, or a combination of the two?
Typically what I’m wearing is what I’d prefer they remember me by. Subsequently, I’d rather hear someone go on about a story about
some jackbutt wearing a Porky Pig costume to The Olive Garden, than someone saying to me, “Shawn, you remember that time you totally embarrassed yourself at The Olive Garden wearing that dorky costume?
What do you miss from your younger years?
My health and the option of a future.
What’s better; kissing with eyes closed or open?
I guess it depends on what I’m kissing
Were you a good student in school?
I didn’t pass a single thing until I got to the 10th grade. Then after that I got excellent grades in most courses.
Do you type or penpeck?
TYPE! I only penpeck when I’m tickling someone
Do you do your income taxes yourself? Or do you pay another service to do them for you?
Oh hell no, I’m not doing them myself if I can pay someone a few bux to do it for me. This stuff has gotten so convoluted lately that it just isn’t worth the bother.
What are some foods you eat with your fingers with no shame whatsoever of dirtying up your hands?
BBQ’d CHICKEN!
Do you say Library, or Libary?
Library, Duah!
What’s the dumbest question you’ve been asked recently?
“Do you say Library, or Libary?”
Can you explain the scientific nature of “The Whammy”?
Jinxed!
Regarding sexual desire, do you think that people are more focused on how much they desire another person, or how much other people desire them?
I’m more focused on making sure there’s a comfy place. Just say’n, these ole bones don’t like floor boards anymore!
What’s the word you say most frequently during a football game?
N/A, I can NOT watch football! It’s just one of the most boring things I could ever be forced to do.
Would you drink coffee from a toilet shaped mug?
Well, if it’s clean, maybe. If it’s clean, and we’re at The Olive Garden, probably not. If it’s clean and I’m at work, then yes, and I’d be making comments like “This tastes like s**t!”
If your boss asked you to do any of your routine job duties from home, would you?
I’d have a marorly hard time not laughing as I walked away after saying “Work stays at work, pal!” Thankfully, though, the job I currently have doesn’t encourage this anyways. But a job I had many years ago, that boss would exploit the crew in any way imaginable, and then use guilt induction b.s. when people rejected it.
What’s your favorite boy/girl names?
If I had a daughter, I’d want to name her Cheyenne. I don’t have a favorite boy name though, I think, because I’ve always wanted a daughter.
How do you know when it’s the right time to say “I love you”?
When she’s finally learned to make oatmeal just the way I like it!
Ok, seriously, I don’t know from first hand experience (shakes head), but from what I’ve read collectively, it could probably be said within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone. Love, in itself, is a very different thing than the word “relationship.” So in a sense, I think the better question would be, “How do you know when your relationship will stand the test of time in true love and harmony?”
What’s a tough choice you’ve recently had to make?
Do I wait in line for a cup of Soft Ice Cream Chocolate/Vanilla Twist that will be intentionally ‘light’ because this person who’s currently working is a cheapskate? Or, do I leave and get some ice cream from the store that I’ll probably enjoy more anyways? Hmmmmm..
Have you ever personally acquired a famous person’s autograph?
Nope.
What was your nickname in high school?
I don’t think I had one.
How do you write a great love letter that really stands out?
Write it on tinfoil!
Does Last-Call ever have a depressing, unhappy, regretful sound to it?
It’s been a looooooooooong time since I’ve been to a bar. But there were a few times when I wasn’t ready to leave yet when they announced it.
When you travel somewhere for fun, do you go with a list of things you want to do or just let things unfold spontaneously?
I kinda do a little of both.
Do you feel guilty or responsible if and when you give someone advice that turns out bad for that person?
Yea. There was this one time when we were all out hunting and one of the guys needed to ‘go,’ and silly me, I forgot to bring toilet paper. So I pointed him to some leaves and said “Yes them, they’re perfectly fine!” And then he later broke out into a very nasty rash in the most embarrassing of places :/
Which news network do you feel actually does a good job with spreading the news - honestly, ethically, and responsibly?
Jon Stewart! Ok, seriously, NONE of them :/
Do you think people even WANT the whole and honest truth in the news they watch?
I think some do. But I think largely, many people just want to hear whatever makes their opposing political partly sound bad.
Would you attend a funeral for someone you didn’t know?
I’d rather not…
What three qualities does a movie need for it to be a major blockbuster hit?
Steven Spielberg, Lots of Makeup, and me having the time to watch it.
Saturday Morning Survey
