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I was thinking earlier that when I remarry, I’m not really interested in a full-scale wedding ceremony and all the other to-dos of the occasions. I did the (semi) big wedding the first time and in the end I found I didn’t enjoy it at all. Next time, I really just want it to be me, my fiancé, and the JOP – period.

So I’m curious how others feel about remarrying. If you’ve already had a large wedding, does subsequent and large weddings hold their appeal?

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im with you Shawn.. id rather not make a big fuss... once is enough and the expense..is just crazy..!!! id rather use the money for a really nice honey moon!!! better yet..invite everyone to a destination wedding!! those who really want to go..will find a way to attend.. and your entertainment is taken car of!!! like Vegas.. they have some great wedding planners and its all inclusive..!! and the price..is not as bad as you think!!

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Elsewhere, I was asked a 'what if'. What if I meet a woman who's never married before and at least wants her parents to be present at the point of vows? In a sense, that might seem like a tough question or maybe a point of compromise. But I don't feel that way.

I think this is merely a point in compatibility. If a woman's first marriage and she wants a large wedding, then she and I are incompatible, which I accept.

There are many things that go into a person wanting other people with them at the point of saying their vows. Likewise, there are many things that go into a person who only wants their fiance and the person who makes it 'legal' to be there. These variances or differences typically aren't minor, and they play into incompatibility.

When it comes to relational compromise, I feel it's unfavorable to compromise in areas that compromise a person's core values. For a variety of reasons, core values included, I'm incompatible with a woman who needs others with her at her wedding. And those who feel this way typically understand that this greatly reduces their overall probability of eventually marrying, but then they peacefully accept that - as I do.

This is one thing I love about the path I've taken; the idea of remarrying again someday sounds like a terrific thing, but it's not a necessity and so I'm not specifically seeking a future wife. I'm very much ok with being single, and that's actually something that would attribute to my attraction to a woman; that being her being very much ok with being single also. This is rather extreme, but I'm turned off by someone desperately seeking to fill a spousal position.

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My first wedding was the regular white dress and tux thing. Second wedding, just my husband and I in Vegas. Third wedding, we got married in a church in a chost town, casual, but I wore a denim skirt. About 20 guests. This last one (and I do mean last!) we got married in my girlfriend's backyard. We both wore jeans. It was perfect!

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Originally Posted by Jann Morrison Kostka:
My first wedding was the regular white dress and tux thing. Second wedding, just my husband and I in Vegas. Third wedding, we got married in a church in a chost town, casual, but I wore a denim skirt. About 20 guests. This last one (and I do mean last!) we got married in my girlfriend's backyard. We both wore jeans. It was perfect!

I'm totally diggin this!

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Personally, I think the choice of whether a couple chooses a big wedding, small wedding, justice of peace, eloping, etc.. has nothing to do with "needing" people to be with them. I think it's just how they feel about it.  What's important to both parties should be taken into consideration, and a compromise made on both parts that will make them both happy. Best way to start a marriage, right? After all, a marriage or relationship of any kind is full of compromises, and the ultimate goal I would think would be to make each other happy. As far as me personally, I've been married twice, and engaged to be married a third & last time in May. The first one we had a small church wedding, second one got married in the preacher's livingroom, and this one we both chose to marry in a small chapel near us. Neither of us feel we need to have people around us to marry, but want our family & close friends to share in our happiness. As far as expense goes, a 2'nd, 3'rd, etc wedding doesn't have to be expensive. There are lots of ways to have a beautiful wedding at very little cost. You just have to do a little research & get creative as Bryan & I have done. The important thing I think is, make it yours & your fiance's day, not what everyone or anyone else wants. Do what makes you two happy! Whether you both would rather have a big, expensive wedding, or a small wedding, justice of the peace, backyard wedding, elope or whatever, just go for it, it's your day!  

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Once was enough.

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If I ever get married again, I don't want anything fancy.  I didn't have a fancy wedding the first time, and there was no honeymoon, but we had bridesmaids and groomsmen, which I would skip next time...and a honeymoon would be nice.  

I would want our families to be there...after all, with marriage, you are joining the two families.  And when they say "We are gathered here today", it would be nice to see my loved ones gathered to celebrate the happy occasion.  But of course, all the details would depend on what we wanted as a couple, and what compromises we came up with if we had differing opinions.  After all, the wedding is just one day, the marriage is for a lifetime. (knock on wood)

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Originally Posted by Ron Bradley:

Once was enough.

..................This ^

(Except I'm not as smart as Ron)

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Originally Posted by Ron Bradley:
Once was enough.

Well darn....there goes my "dream man"!

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Originally Posted by Scott Terry:

Originally Posted by Ron Bradley:

Once was enough.

..................This ^

(Except I'm not as smart as Ron)

Like Forrest Gump once said "I'm not a verrry smart man"  

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If I ever remarry..i totally do not want a big wedding..and since most guys are on board with that i shouldnt have a problem..lol..i would like a nice beach wedding..with barefeet.. casual hawaiin dress..in hawaii..of course!! do a sunset wedding..and a luau dinner after ward.. mmmm nice!! i could see myself doing that..but not a big church wedding. been there done that and over it.

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If I WAS to do it again ........... it would be simple.

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I am 99.9% sure I won't do it again because I've messed up enough times, but . . . if I did, I'd want all of my dear friends to be there and I wouldn't care what anyone wore. I think big, fancy weddings are for the young and foolish who don't understand that what you wear and how much it cost will never matter in the grand scheme of things.

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In my family, the big Church wedding is tradition and something to very much plan for and look forward too.  The next generation is "that age" and it will begin with my niece's wedding this summer.  We have a big Irish-Catholic clan soooooo .... yeah, it's a beautiful Church ceremony that has so much meaning and family tradition ... and then cut loose in celebration afterward at a huge reception.

I did it the first time ... and it was lovely and something I will never forget.  I don't have ill feelings about it or think it was a waste probably because my first husband died very young.  So it's more bittersweet.  The second one was smallish, it was his first.

If I ever do it again (and I do have hope) ... it depends on what we want to do together but since I do have a big family that is very close ... there will be a massive party regardless ...