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What stereotypes do you see in the gay community that you feel have a negative impact?

Are there ways people can overcome these stereotypes?  

Where do you think these stereotypes arose from?  

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I experience the stereotype where gay people are viewed as sexual deviants or predators. When coming out to some women, they get defensive, because they think me admitting that I am a lesbian automatically means that I am out to get them. Some of them are pretty insistent on saying that they are straight, and nothing with ever happen to us, when I have not given any cause for them to think I was attracted to them in the first place. While there are some of us who have a thing for conquering "breeders", I would never chase someone who wasn't attracted to me. I think this in itself gives us all a bad name, and perhaps that is what feeds the stereotypes. I think it's more so that my coming out to them threatens them in terms of making them come face to face with something that they fear, and they probably haven't had a lot of experience with gay people. I try to overcome it with love and understanding, but sometimes it's just annoying being automatically assumed to be doing something that I'm not, when all I'm trying to accomplish in the first place is to be friendly.

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Thanks for your input, Delia!  That stereotype is something that I see as well, and it does plague the gay community.  Unfortunately there are a lot of people that do carry this stereotype out.  If we can get those people and their friends to stop rewarding the promiscuous behavior it could help slow it down.  This isn't an easy task, but through education of safe sex and reinstating the value of monogamy we can show others a healthier way to play!

-Toxic Rainbow  

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Well... for me, I dislike it when people assume I'm a certain way because I'm gay; I don't like flowers, musicals, rainbows, working out, dressing nice, dancing, cooking, baking, and singing because I'm gay, I like those things because I solely like those thing--my sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.

And I don't like sexual orientation to be used as an excuse for anything, same with us--I don't like it when gay guys grab boobs/behinds and say: "hey, don't worry, I'm gay" or something along those lines. I don't like it when people use being gay as an excuse for them to be overly emotional, bitchy, or any form of being inappropriate, a person is just that way because that's how he/she is as a person, their sexual preference has nothing to do with their behavior.

Promiscuous behavior, especially,  is not the result of being gay, so I agree: so many people within the gay community have only fueled this stereotype because they are the ones heard and seen by everyone else. Though trust me, there are good people out there who can keep their hands to themselves and junk in their pants. Those are the people who should speak out and voice their opinions more.    

And for those who believe in gay rights and gay marriage, please actually do something about it instead of just preaching about how the world should be. Be productive. Rally. Start a petition. Spread the word. Educate people. Vote. Spread the love. And be polite, yet, assertive, about it. Yes, being nice won't provide the punch necessary to get our message across, but we don't need the masses to fear and hate us any more than they already do. Let's be smart about this people. And also, don't forget to live your life; pursue your happiness as well as for the greater good. The fight is going to be a long one, but the greatest things take awhile to happen.

We can't force our views onto others just as much as we don't want others to force their views onto us, but we can educate each other. We can provide them the information, and all we could really hope for, for now, is a little understanding. A little progress is better than none.

But yeah... I totally went off topic. lol x]

Speak up, everyone.

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Great response, Jayson.  Those all happen all too often.  You have brought up many great points, and I'll go ahead and give some information of just one of them.  In  response to both of your points regarding feminin/bitchyness/people projecting pre-established notions of gays and promiscuity, a study from Public Med Central has this to offer:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2902177/

In fact, numerous studies have repeatedly shown that gay men who place personal advertisements tend to stress exhibiting masculine interests and behaviors, and they tend to seek masculine mates (Bailey, Kim, Hills, Linsenmeier, 1997; Laner & Kamel, 1977; Lumby, 1978; Phua, 2002; Taywaditep, 2001). For instance, in a study of 2,729 gay men’s personal advertisements, Bailey et al. (1997) found that gay men who chose to use gender specific self-descriptors were significantly biased towards stereotypically masculine traits (e.g., dominant, muscular, and athletic) and labels (e.g., “a masculine man,” “straight-acting,” and “jock”). Furthermore, most advertisers explicitly requested masculine mates and they expressed that stereotypically feminine traits were undesirable in a potential mate.

It appears that when a gay man is concerned with his masculine appearance he becomes "fearful" of feminin men.  

The study goes on to describe gay men's views in the study on positive and negative effects of masculine ideals in relationships:


The final set of questions asked participants in what ways they felt gay men’s relationships were positively and adversely affected by the ideals of masculinity in U.S. culture. As with the previous question on self-image, most of the responding participants (30%) could not identify any positive effect of masculine ideals on gay men’s relationships. Of the positive themes identified, some masculine characteristics reportedly helped gay men’s relationships including being a provider for one another (12%), allowing them to understand each other’s style of communication better (4%), and respecting the need for personal and sexual autonomy (3%).

On the other hand, the participants identified several negative effects. In particular, gay men reported that masculine ideals restricted the degree to which they could openly communicate and express themselves with one another (15%). Traditional heterosexual gender roles within a relationship were cited (13%) as influencing the roles gay men assume in their relationships (e.g., the husband vs. “wife” and the breadwinner vs. homemaker). It seems that for some gay men, the social expectations of traditional marriage roles between heterosexual men and heterosexual women affected how labor was divided in gay households and the degree to which gay relationships were egalitarian.

"I am a victim of this masculine/fem mystique…Go online and check out how many men in gay chat rooms aspire to be perceived as only masculine or straight acting or butch. And I challenge you to find any of those self-described he-men willing to meet a man who doesn’t define himself as such."

I know that I can relate to this.  I've seen it in both myself and also my ex.  I have dated two very fem guys, and one very masculine guy.  The most pain and struggle I've ever seen in a person was the masculine one, and most of it was centered around his sexual identity and perception.  I have also prosecuted one of my ex's for being too feminin when I was a teenager, which led to us breaking up.  I suggest you read the whole study here:  

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2902177/

Once again, thanks for your time and response