OFFLINE

Does a marriage contract between a man and woman imply the promise of heterosexuality by both partners?

OFFLINE

i don't think such a contract would imply any kind of sexual relationship, but i may be wrong.

OFFLINE

Originally Posted by Dødherre Mørktre:
i don't think such a contract would imply any kind of sexual relationship, but i may be wrong.

I watched an old episode of Ally McBeal last night and one of the stories was a man wanting his marriage nullified because his wife withheld her homosexual orientation from him before they got married. And, she had had sex with him prior to her letting him know her true sexual orientation.

I think this is an extremely subjective thing, but if given the choice, I'd much rather my wife be heterosexual. And if she withheld from me the fact that she's homosexual, then I'd feel greatly deceived. Aside from my anger at her, I'd keep asking myself; why would I want to be in a relationship with a woman who'll play this level of deception with me?

However, if our relationship involved the understanding that it'd never be a sexual relationship, but we'd be exclusive or monogamous nonetheless - till death or fine chocolate done us part, then I think this changes things.

OFFLINE

Hopefully a contract of any kind is written in such a straight forward way that there is no implied anything.

Marriage is a whole different thing ... and the agreement between the two consenting adults can be many things.  If the agreement is to be true and monogamous to each other and each other only, I'm not sure what difference the person's sexual orientation(s) make.  

If the agreement is that the relationship shall be open, then I guess some more specific ground rules better be set.  If homosexuality bothers one partner, that should be discussed ahead of time and I'd imagine it would have been.

OFFLINE

Originally Posted by Teri Lacy:
Hopefully a contract of any kind is written in such a straight forward way that there is no implied anything.

Marriage is a whole different thing ... and the agreement between the two consenting adults can be many things.  If the agreement is to be true and monogamous to each other and each other only, I'm not sure what difference the person's sexual orientation(s) make.  

If the agreement is that the relationship shall be open, then I guess some more specific ground rules better be set.  If homosexuality bothers one partner, that should be discussed ahead of time and I'd imagine it would have been.

I agree with Lacy.  A marriage can pretty much be whatever the partners agree to.  

Personally, if my partner purposely withheld important information until after the marriage, I'm not sure I could forgive that.  And to me, sexual orientation is a pretty important piece of information when it comes to a marriage.  I would be more worried about the deception than the actual details.  And of course, the fact that I'm extremely picky when it comes to honesty in our relationship would be revealed looooong before any wedding plans were even discussed.

But back to what I said earlier...if both partners agree that honesty and forthrightness in their marriage isn't important to them...as silly as that seems...that's their business and not for me to judge.

OFFLINE

my mind goes to a marriage where one partner withholds sex, period. they aren't sleeping with anyone, including you. isn't that kind of a similar scenario for the sake of this discussion?

OFFLINE

For me, when it comes to marriage, "contract" isn't a noun.

It's a verb.

OFFLINE

Originally Posted by Tiramisu Sue:
Personally, if my partner purposely withheld important information until after the marriage, I'm not sure I could forgive that.  And to me, sexual orientation is a pretty important piece of information when it comes to a marriage.  I would be more worried about the deception than the actual details.  And of course, the fact that I'm extremely picky when it comes to honesty in our relationship would be revealed looooong before any wedding plans were even discussed.

I agree with you! But one thing would constantly ring in my mind if I chose to overlook this; if they're capable of deceiving me at this level, then what else would their deceptiveness entail? It kinda reminds me of the stories people tell when they forgive an unfaithful partner; will they cheat again? I couldn't exist happily in a marriage when trust simply wasn't true.

OFFLINE

Originally Posted by Dødherre Mørktre:
my mind goes to a marriage where one partner withholds sex, period. they aren't sleeping with anyone, including you. isn't that kind of a similar scenario for the sake of this discussion?

It maybe similar, but I'd personally be curious as to why they're withholding sex. In a retaliatory fashion, withholding sex is more or less being used as a weapon or a control tactic over the partner. Who in their right mind wants that? But if she's withholding sex from me because she's homosexual and the idea of having sex with a man disgusts her, then why am I interested in being in a relationship with a woman who's chronically disgusted with me for ANY reason?

I don't care if it's sex, politics, religion, choice of media entertainment, general or overall dislike, whathaveyou; if she's in a chronic state of disgust with me for any reason, then any relationship with such a person harbors marked to severe levels of toxicity that I couldn't live with. But the idea of a homosexual, a genuine homosexual withholding their true sexual orientation from someone who's interested in a heterosexual - sexual relationship is at best pathological IMO.

OFFLINE

but is it a legal breach of contract?

OFFLINE

I think in a legal sense, no, that is unless the wedding vows are worded to literally say "I promise to be a sexually active heterosexual partner with you so long as I'm physically and medically able to - till death do us part.",,,, or something blatantly silly like that anyways.

OFFLINE

Your wedding vows aren't a legal contract. You can basically say anything you want in your vows but that doesn't change how the law views your marriage.  You can get out of your marriage, through a divorce, for any old reason you want, but you're probably going to have to split everything 50/50.  To reverse or annul a marriage, you have to show that it is invalid for some reason:

"Generally speaking, an annulment may be available if the validity of the marriage can be called into question by mental, physical or legal considerations.

•Mental Considerations. There are a number of factors which can effect a person's mental state and therefore his ability to consent to a marriage. A marriage may be annulled if one party was mentally incompetent at the time of the marriage. A marriage may be annulled if one party was under the influence of drugs or alcohol when they got married. If one party was coerced into marriage, the marriage could also be annulled as it wouldn't have been of their own free will, but rather because someone was forcing them. If a person entered into the marriage as a joke, on a dare, or without the intention to truly be bound to it, then the marriage may be annulled. Finally, if a person entered into marriage because of a belief and reliance on untrue statements by the other person, then an annulment may be possible.
•Physical Considerations. Incurable impotence so that intercourse can't be had and the marriage can't be consummated can be a grounds for an annulment. However, the other party must not have known prior to the marriage of the impotence of their spouse.
•Legal Considerations. There are several factors that can make it illegal to marry and can therefore be a basis for annulment. Some states may have other legal remedies besides annulment in place for a person who entered unknowingly into an illegal marriage. If the other party was still married at the time of the wedding, the marriage could be annulled. If one party was underage and didn't have the required parental or court consent for marrying, the marriage may be annulled. However, if the underage spouse achieves adult age and is still married, there's a possibility that an annulment after that point won't be allowed. A marriage can likely be annulled if it's an incestuous one. Most states consider blood marriages closer than second cousins to be incestuous."

OFFLINE

I say just love them to bits and enjoy  the time you have