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WHAT DO YOU NEED?
The teacher says " OK class i,d like you to tell me what you,d like at home"
Suzie says "we,d like a computor"
wendy says "we,d like a new car"
johhny says "we don,t need anything"
"Oh come" on says  Teacher "we all need something"
"NO" says johnny, "my sister brought her new muslim boyfriend home last night and my Dad said,"  "Thats All we **** need"

MUSLIM BOOKS IN ENGLISH
A new range of books written by muslim authors is being made available (all translated into english)  Titles include;
  How to find a job in the west, by Oyeah asif,
  Cooking curry,  by Ahmed astink,
  DIY (don,t give money to Kaffars) by Maroof Isfuk'd,
  Inbreeding, by Ishag masistah,
  and one of my favourites..
  muslim justice, by shahoot Dhakunt.

Mister Hawkins and his onions.
Please forgive the lame rendition of an English accent'

During WWll America suffered from many war time shortages but, due to the Nazi submarines, not nearly as badly as did England. According to the story related to me, the phone rang one day in a neighborhood grocery store in London and the proprietor answered " 'awkin's grocery." The lady at the other end of the line said. "Mister 'awkins, this is Mrs. 'awthorne, could ya please sell me some onions today?" The gentleman replied "No Mam, war time shortages ya know, call me back in a fortnight, we may have better tidings then"
The following day the phone rings and again she says, "Mister  'awkins, this is Mrs. 'awthorne again, could ya pleease sell me some onions today?" He replied, "No Mam, like I told ya yesterday, call back in a fortnight."
Day three her voice is growing desperate as she pleads "Mister 'awkins! Tthis is Mrs 'awthorne again! Could ya pleeease sell me some onions today?
The kindly gentleman asks, "Mrs 'awthorne, d' ya know who put the tom un tomatoes, they used to be called maters ya know?"
With a drawn out hesitation in her voice she answers "No sir."
He adds, Well Mrs, 'awthorne, d' ya know who put the pot un potatoes, they used to be called taters ya know?"
Again with hesitation she answers "No sir."
He continues, "Well then Mrs. 'awthorne, do ya know who put the **** un onions?"
Indignantly she replies "Why Mister 'awkins, there's no **** un onions!"
His final thought " 'at's what I've been tryin' to tell ya Mam...G' day"