OFFLINE

Hostie in Wonderland

Emailed on Nov 7 1998 by HostAnMoon.

Rambo, Dawnie and I worked on this for ya to give ya a laugh.  Its a bit of all of us in the writing and ALL of you who we love so dearly.  Please enjoy with great love and humor



        /|\___/|\      

       /   ( OO )  \         Arnold ASTROPiggies

      (     ( o o )   )         ...     Says

    /                 \        WELCOME TO THE

~(____\_|_/___)          RING!

OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK!!!

Once upon a TIME (or is that TYME?? "Take Your Money Anywhere") there was A Hostie named MUSA who had a little pig named Arnold.  Because MUSA was so proud of her pig she devised a plan to kidnap the MOON and use it's wonderful gemini powers of communication (or is that connmunacation...whatever!!!!) to show off her pig.

The MOON became totally enamored with Arnold that she started kidnapping other Hosties to bring before MUSA and the pig.  A GATE was erected to keep Arnold in check because he was found to have the nasty habit of breaking TOS violations without TINKing.  SOLI was added to the enclosure so that Arnold would have something to roll around in.

Arnold was found to be quite the TALKER and a very intellectual chap.  MENO, the wise and wonderful was brought in to occupy Arnolds TIME with TALK of Plato, a favorite of Arnolds.  Everyone knew WHO Plato was, except WHO (who was on 1st base).  HIER (Higher Intellect for the Educationally Repressed) doubted that Arnold could actually understand such higher conscience learnings as the teachings of Plato.

As night fell, a FYRE was started at the edge of the FRST (Forest) to keep all the captive Hosties warm.  A CRIKet's song was playing in the background as starLITE twinkled JOY and LOVE in the night guiding a DOVE and a HAWK that carried GIFT's from the Hero KENNY to the pondering Arnold.

LAS being totally stimulated by the lively conversation, began doing an Irish jig about the FYRE adding a CELTic note to the night SKRY.  Arnold soon learned to respect the wee folk from the EMLD (Emerald) Isle of smoooochies.  Arnold wasn't sure what that was... but asked the DANCer LAS if he should be concerned with the ketsup in their graceful fingers.

A JEDI master was soon summoned to the scene to communicate with Arnolds long past relatives.  LANA, a witch by which can be called any other name, was asked for her input to the whereabouts of Arnolds past away relatives.  Going into trance LANA began to mumble, "SEA shat SEA shells by the SEA shore!!!"  "The Ocean", shouted DORAthy, in a booming voice like that of the Wizards, as she stuck her head out the MRLD (Emerald) tent...AUMmmm...palace...she and LAS had set up. So off the Hosties went in scarch of the nearest ocean.  HIER, having brought her daughter along, let the way.

Not far into their journey, a TREE fell in the middle of the path and HIER's daughter happened to TRIP and break her ankle (she felt without a GRNT).  Because there was no doctor among the Hosites, CARE had to be found elsewhere to RENW the break.  An ANGL, with a very large AURA, showed up to answer the Hosties prayers.

The next stop for the remaining Hosties was an old MAYA village.  There they met a LADY and a GENT WHO told them to climb to the top of the runes and make HARTfelt WISH on a falling STAR.  Through the MYST they could SEA the ocean WAVEs in the distance and a JOYeous ORCA frolicking about.  It was a MERI sight to see!!!

The excited Hosties were so happy to be near the ocean WAVE's that they ran quickly ahead.  JUST as they rounded a corner, the Hosties found in their path Rambo dressed in SILKie RNBW fatigues hat she borrowed from her friend Andy Gibb.  The Hostie's produced a JEWL and Rambo allowed the to pass without trouble but Arnold was eyed with suspicion.  

A short way down the path they ran into a farmer in ADEL with a huge RAVN on her shoulder.  Having been a while since they relived themselves (All Hosties were n cell phones the hero KENNY had given them, talking endlessly to anyone that would listen to their story about Arnold and the Gem MOON), the Hosties asked the farmer in ADEL if they could use her LOO (that's British for bathroom).  Being a little mischievous, the Hosties WRIT their phone numbers if DEBI, DOUG, ERIN, JERE, JOAN, PAX, and MARG on the LOO wall for all to see.  MERC, the ruler of the GEM MOON became very cross at the hosties for doing this and threatened to send them John Glen dressed in his apolloZY uniform.  To repent, the Hosties scrubbed the phone numbers off the wall with ZUDD (the rust removing kitchen cleaner) and a BRYL (brillo) pad.  ZUDD fights for cleaning JUSTice where ever she goes, always RENWing the worlds view and to see a FLYT of ANGeLs in us all.

After the Hosties had finished cleaning, the goodness NEPI appeared to them and told them they must visit PAZ (or is it Pez) people to RENW their vow as keepers of the QUE and the restock their pile of QUE CARD's.  DEDE also noticed that their PHOton chargers were a little low and could be RENWed by the PAZ people also.

LUNA took up the lead, because it was still PM (night) and her light along with that of the MOONs was enough to finally guide the Hosties to the ocean shore.  As they stood on the beach an adorable PUG nose dog ran up carrying a GENIE's lamp.  GALN took the lamp from the dog because she is good with animals and a trainer of dogs.  GALN handed the lamp to TIKA who rubbed the lamp with EN like concentration.  Out of the lamp popped a GENIE who agreed to grant the Hosties three WISHes for FREE.  MARG yelled, We need new cars to go with these cell phones that Hero Kenny gave us."  The GENIE nodded and a brand new GEO appeared for each of the Hosties.  TALK announced from the background, "We want our new Rewards Program!!!"  Without pause ESSA shouted, "We all need some REM sleep.  Our hostie duties do not allow for sleep!!!"  And the GENIE made it happen.  As the DAWN was breaking, each happy Hostie fell asleep behind the wheel of their  new GEO clutching a copy of the new Rewards Program in their hands and Arnold and his reunited past on relatives were forgotten for the moment.  And so ends another MARI adventure of the ASTRONET Hostie team.