 Cool Senior Forum Expert

Regist.: 12/26/2010 Topics: 142 Posts: 2128
 OFFLINE | I’ve never personally favored ‘hints’ because I feel it too easily borders on passive-aggressiveness which is never truly healthy in a relationship. But just in the general nature of ‘hinting’, many people, both men and women, quite often don’t take the hint, and it’s often not something that can really be attached with fault, yet it possess a strong potential to influence disappointment and worse.
Maybe it might kill any surprise factor, but I feel that if there’s something a person specifically wants as a gift, then I find it favorable to simply communicate it to their partner. And I do mean literally, as in “Shawn, I would like some rubber baby buggy bumpers for my birthday this year!” This leaves no question, but it’s not completely unromantic either because this ‘gift’ in itself is just a gift, but how it’s delivered can be infinitely romantic.
Some time after my divorce, I come to realize, though, that if I truly don’t know what to get for my partner as a gift, then it’s a clear indication that we need to work on the relationship. Conventionally there are many things that get in the way of this, but I think what we value plays a major role in the success and happiness in our relationships. If the circumstances of my job interfered with the growth of my relationship, then I have a choice to make, which ‘wolf’ do I feed, with reference to an old moral story.
Yesterday while watching an episode of “Fairly Legal”, the idea of no gift buying was discussed. In the absence of gifts, a couple simply makes special time for each other. In today’s trifling and insanely busy world, this seems to make sense to me. If I want a new necklace, a new power drill, or whole new set of underwear, I can get that myself. But spending ‘time’ with my partner typically outweighs the materialistic value of tangible gifts.
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