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Date – Saturday 4th November, 2012

Spirits – Aphraar
Medium – Mathew Alec Costin

Dear Aphraar,

It is good to be able to speak with you again. I am sorry that I am in a state of resistance at present, and so the connection may not be so good.

Aphraar:
Not a problem Mathew. We will work with what we have now. This is God's Way. For God never needs to you to be any different than you are right now. He loves you are as you are. Perfect and beautiful in his eyes. Full of love for you.
Mathew, would you like to begin asking me some questions?

Yes please Aphraar. Can you please tell me a little about your childhood, and some of the causal type events that occurred in your childhood.

Certainly my friend and brother. I was born alone, as my mother passed during the birth. Immediately, as you may be able to relate for yourself, my father blamed me for my mother's death. So, there was no love at that crucial point in my life. This in particular caused great pain for me in my life.
I was sent away from the family and did not know them. I was unsafe in my environment at the baby farm. There was generally rooms with 30 or more babies, and very often, we were not picked up and nursed.
The first year of my life was spent particularly with spirit interactions rather than human interactions. This made me uncomfortable to have physical contact, I feared it much of my life and so therefore was quite withdrawn as far as physical intimacy went.
When I returned into the family home at the age of 5, I was moving into a home full of strangers, who still resented me for my mother's death. My brother and sister had felt a major withdrawal of love when our mother passed, which meant their rage and contempt for me was quite strong.
Actual strangers generally expressed and demonstrated more kindness for me than my actual family. At church I was well-liked, although I was quiet and withdrawn.
Even at this early age, I felt a strong attraction towards spirituality. The parish priest was very kind to me and took pity on my unfortunate situation. He supported my spiritual inclinations and quite soon after our first meetings at about age 6, I began to feel some degree of connection with the Father.
Over this time I came to feel that the world around me had no love, only God seemed to care for me.
Consequently I began to feel that I must be wrongly placed in my environment. I wanted to leave my home and be somewhere that was more loving. I identified strongly with those less fortunate than myself and felt a strong desire to help them in their lives.
I felt very unworthy of love during this period.

What about your schooling life?

I was actually taught by a tutor. Because I was quite sickly as a child, I did not attend school. My tutor and I were somewhat close.


Date – Thursday22nd November, 2012

Spirits – Aphraar
Medium – Mathew Alec Costin

Hello Aphraar. What would you recommend please firstly for me to look at now to improve our connection.

To begin with brother, stop attacking yourself. When you do, you are surrounded by very unloving spirits and we cannot assist you at those times. Keep that shining jewel in your pocket, of all the times when God has loved and helped you. Do not lose faith, keep it going, keep taking action. Keep trusting my dear brother. You are so close to major breakthroughs at the moment emotionally – you just need to trust. You have the ability to open your heart more than you have before, but you need to give yourself the love to actually do this.

I constantly feel that I am not good enough.

I understand Mathew. But if you live as this is true, nothing changes in your life. Feel your way into your heart, while you are loving yourself by engaging in your desires and passions. It is much easier to connect to your blocks and release them when you are living as if God's truths must be true.

Aphraar, what do you feel may be appropriate to start the film with?

Mathew, the important thing is that you engage your own creativity. You have much to give within you. You are not simply a medium with an ability to channel creative material. You are also a soul in whom God has placed many gifts. What would be the purpose of engaging in the project if you did not discover yourself in the process?

Yup, fair enough.

I am feeling that I would like to start with you getting hit by the carriage, the flash of light etc – then have you both on the hill at first, looking around – maybe with flashes of what happened through your life – then to come back to you guys when the man who takes the boy from your arms.

Surely Mathew, this is a fine opening.

Actually, I feel maybe, during the period of the transition, before you end up on the hill, flash through things in your life, from your childhood onwards?

What would be the easiest, most engaging thing for the audience to follow, do you feel friend?

Yes, the first one. What do you feel would be the events from your life worth showing in the montage.

My feeling is to start with my birth as you have indicated already in your storyboarding. My birth was attended by one sister and the local doctor. My mother bled out afterwards. She did get to see me, but not hold me. I was taken away immediately, while the doctor sought to help my mother. The woman tried to soothe me but I did not stop crying.