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A place to come for advice from your peers.

I was divorced in February and have joint custody of my son.  I just finished one degree and am going back to school for my Bachelor's so money is tight.

My dilemma is the limited time I have with my son.  If someone could give me some ideas of things I could do with my son besides the park (we go there all the time) that take little to no money.  I feel pressure to entertain him when he is with me. He gets to do all sorts of things with his daddy that I can't afford right now. It makes his time with me pale by comparison.  

Thanks in advance for any advice.

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Originally Posted by Michele McPhalen:
A place to come for advice from your peers.

I was divorced in February and have joint custody of my son.  I just finished one degree and am going back to school for my Bachelor's so money is tight.

My dilemma is the limited time I have with my son.  If someone could give me some ideas of things I could do with my son besides the park (we go there all the time) that take little to no money.  I feel pressure to entertain him when he is with me. He gets to do all sorts of things with his daddy that I can't afford right now. It makes his time with me pale by comparison.  

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Hi Michele,,,

Sometimes I wonder if a child might actually get bored with a parent who spoils them. I don't have kids, but I've seen this demonstrated so many times in movies. To me, this seems like a possible opportunity for quality bonding with the use of simple things to assist the experience. When I was a kid, I really loved board games. From one lens, they pale in comparison to today's video games. But from another lens, board games have an interactive realness to them that sometimes helps to nurture connection between the people playing them. This worked for me as a kid, and it still works for me today. So if your son happens to like any of the classic board games, maybe, who knows...

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Hi Michele,

I completely understand your dilema.  I am in the same situation though Ive been at it for quite some time now.  It seems that your son is younger, if your spending time at the park.  One thing that made for fun times was finding age appropriate games that I could play with them...usually on the comp...or rent movies.. Not sure if they have Red Box where you live.. if they do the movies are only $1.  We used to have movie days.. we'd put blankets on the floor.. make popcorn, have candy and snacky type foods. Perhaps a meuseum??  they are usually pretty cheap if they charge at all.  Or.. go to the movies..Matinee's are usually pretty inexpensive.  Honestly.. just spending quality time together, that doesnt include housework.. or chores.. or schoolwork.. are the best..

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Thank you Shawn and Tonya. Those are great ideas!

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Boy stuff ...

Get some empty boxes and play with them ... mark 'em up with guy stuff ... make a rocket ship out of them.  Get boxes that are his size and turn him into a transformer.  Make a fort with a card table and a blanket ... eat under the fort or watch a movie.  Play a card game.  Go on an "adventure" hike to find stuff ... kinds of trees and birds and lakes and streams.  Ride bikes.  Play board games.  Camp out in the living room and watch a movie.  Learn origami.  Play with lego's.  Learn different ways to fold a paper airplane and have a flying contest.

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Originally Posted by Scott Terry:
Boy stuff ...

Get some empty boxes and play with them ... mark 'em up with guy stuff ... make a rocket ship out of them.  Get boxes that are his size and turn him into a transformer.  Make a fort with a card table and a blanket ... eat under the fort or watch a movie.  Play a card game.  Go on an "adventure" hike to find stuff ... kinds of trees and birds and lakes and streams.  Ride bikes.  Play board games.  Camp out in the living room and watch a movie.  Learn origami.  Play with lego's.  Learn different ways to fold a paper airplane and have a flying contest.

I really like the cardboard/fort idea and there's something I'd like to add to that; I think it's very necessary to make 'clean-up' something done last. I've known so many people who 'clean-up' during a project, a game, or whatever kind of fun we were having, and it was a distraction at best. Distraction = turnoff & eventual disinterest. I don't think that means being as absolutely messy as possible while having fun though, but within reason, clean up - last.

I tell you what, the idea of making cardboard forts and rocket ships, that really makes the idea of being a kid again all kinds of awesome

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Thanks!  We sat in his toy train with blankets over our heads and a flashlight and told ghost stories. We watched one of his movies, Coraline.  I love the idea of boxes and forts. I need to find some boxes.  

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My two always loved to make caves.  If we didn't have big boxes we would grab all the sheets and blankets in the house and move the furniture around so we could drape them over and make shelters and caves and communities.  They always loved to have picnics in their caves so they helped decide what "cave food" was needed.  LOL

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We just tried the cave with blankets and couches. LOL! What fun! Of course, the blankets didn't stretch near far enough for enough room for us to comofortably eat, but I did try!  My son was steadily dragging his toys into our "cave" and trying to decorate it with the New Years Eve party hats, etc. LOL!  Thanks Jane!  Great idea!  Scott, loved the idea about the boxes.   

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Originally Posted by Michele McPhalen:
We just tried the cave with blankets and couches. LOL! What fun! Of course, the blankets didn't stretch near far enough for enough room for us to comofortably eat, but I did try!  My son was steadily dragging his toys into our "cave" and trying to decorate it with the New Years Eve party hats, etc. LOL!  Thanks Jane!  Great idea!  Scott, loved the idea about the boxes.   

Psssst, dining room chairs will bridge the gap between couches and living room chairs.  By the time you are finished you living room will look like tent city.  LOL

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Here you go Michele ...

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it really is about quality of time rather than quantity, and once they reach 7-8 they start to understand that you don't have tons of money to spend on them. i grew up as the only child of divorced parents, and my mom had to be very creative in entertaining me. and some of my most cherished memories were achieved on the cheap. we'd just go to the beach for the day or something, and i remember how happy i was when she'd dig up enough change to buy me a burger or ice cream or something.

i think change of scenery is important. look for any festivals or fairs in your area. most are free to get into, and it's just fun doing things that you normally wouldn't.

another thing that my niece loves to do with her grandparents, believe it or not, is going to the goodwill. she likes it because they buy her stuff there, and they like it, because everything is cheap. kids don't have to have a hundred dollar nintendo DS. often times, they're just as happy with a cheap little toy (while they're young anyway).

as long as you're making an effort, kids will appreciate it. especially if you're doing something out of the ordinary, or new. it's exciting to them.

but most of all, don't put too much pressure on yourself. just enjoy as much of your time with them as possible, before puberty hits, and they want nothing to do with you.

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i also went to a good number of air shows. they're pretty cheap to get into, and for a boy, there's not much that's more awesome. my dad would also take me to tour aircraft carriers, anytime they were open to the public. again, cheap to get into.

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how about asking him what he wants to do?

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Originally Posted by Michele McPhalen:
A place to come for advice from your peers.

I was divorced in February and have joint custody of my son.  I just finished one degree and am going back to school for my Bachelor's so money is tight.

My dilemma is the limited time I have with my son.  If someone could give me some ideas of things I could do with my son besides the park (we go there all the time) that take little to no money.  I feel pressure to entertain him when he is with me. He gets to do all sorts of things with his daddy that I can't afford right now. It makes his time with me pale by comparison.  

Thanks in advance for any advice.

I'm not sure about your area, but we always went to the library (it's free...and you get to look up cool books together!).  The other thing you could do is create a scavenger hunt....before he gets there...and IF he finds everything.... then you can have a surprise for him like some ice cream (and make ice cream sundaes) -- Also, check with your local zoo and museum.  Sometimes they will have free or very reduced admissions on certain days.  I agree with Jann, though, sometimes just asking them WHAT they want to do is the answer.  Since I did childcare in my house for 8 years...there was hardly any money to spend on "entertaining" the kids.  I would give them some stuff and have them make up an obstacle course and what the directions are for the other kids.  Also....my BEST secret for summertime fun was WATER.  I would hand the kids old paintbrushes...and a pail with water in it.  They would paint wonderful "creations".  Funny thing was, because the driveway was asphalt....it would almost always dry up before they got done.....but they would go back and repaint it.  Kept them busy for hours!!  Also, if you have a digital camera...how about taking a nice walk and taking pictures....and then printing them (usually rather cheap) -- and then putting them into a scrapbook or photo album.  Each time he comes there...it could be a different "theme"....let him decide.  Whatever you do...remember, it's the QUALITY of your time with him....not the quantity!!!